Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for the ‘What the…?’ Category

Guess what I did this evening?

Posted by parsingtime on February 29, 2012

A couple of months ago our American Home Shield service came up for renewal.  Husband wanted to know if we really needed it.  We used it once last year.

I decided we would give it another whirl this year mostly because I fear the year I don’t renew is when all hell breaks loose and it costs a gazillion dollars to fix (let’s all recall the termite incident that was not covered by insurance.),

Today a three foot long  piece of plastic fell out of the dishwasher.

It was totally full of dirty dishes.  Of course it was.

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The Eyes of Texas on the Railroad

Posted by parsingtime on January 23, 2011

The Eyes of Texas.

I’ve Been Working on the Railroad.

I’m more than a little horrified.

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Be Professional

Posted by parsingtime on January 4, 2011

Note to all the babysitters out there: if your email address handle is chocolatesexylips I’m probably not going to contact you.

That is all.

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AT&T Uverse Sucks

Posted by parsingtime on June 10, 2010

Our cable box went out yesterday. I spent an hour on the phone with the technical support people before they decided that the hard drive had gone out and that they would send someone to replace it. That someone was supposed to show up between 8am and noon today. So I got out of bed and showered much earlier than I would have.

Guess what time he showed up? Guess.

That’s right, 4:30pm. FOUR AND A HALF HOURS after they had promised me. When I called them at noon to find out what was going on they said someone should be out to the house within the hour. When I called them at 2pm they said someone would come soon, though they couldn’t pinpoint what amount of time soon would mean. And no one felt the need to apologize. No one.

Uverse is what is offered in our area so we don’t have the option of changing really but given how awful the service has been in general (not giving us their best deals, having to go into the store to change things, sending the wrong amounts on bills etc) after just three months I don’t have high hopes that this isn’t going to happen again in the future. Perhaps it is time to just cancel TV all together (but then who is going to suffer at 3am when no-name doesn’t want to sleep? Me, that’s who).

And I’d just like to say a little welcome to all the people who are going to find this blog by googling AT&T Uverse Sucks. Because it does.

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Hoping for a June Baby

Posted by parsingtime on June 2, 2010

Let’s hope the Baby ‘Time arrives in June.  No offense, to Mags (who is starting residency this year) or my sister (who will be a 3rd year resident this July).

Avoid hospitals in July like the plague.If you can, stay out of the hospital during the summer, especially July. That’s the month when medical students become interns, interns become residents, and residents become fellows and full-fledged doctors. In other words, a good portion of the staff at any given teaching hospital is new on the job.

Summer hospital horror stories aren’t just medical lore: The adjusted mortality rate rises 4% in July and August for the average major teaching hospital, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research. That means eight to 14 more deaths occur at major teaching hospitals than would normally without the turnover.

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Bar Stools

Posted by parsingtime on May 3, 2010

How can the same woman who is completely content with her $17 guest room night stand be also be lusting after $350 bar stools. That’s $350 for each one and that’s because I negotiated the price down from $450.

BAR. STOOLS. PEOPLE.

I need three of them.  Our new kitchen table (excluding the chairs) cost less than the damn bar stools. I can’t even link to them out of shame.

I cannot justify the price so I’ll keep looking but I’m not happy about it.  I need to stop dropping acid.* It really is bad for the baby and for my judgment.

*Crazy people of the internet, I do not drop acid or do any sort of drugs unless you count prenatal vitamins.

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Defensive Driving

Posted by parsingtime on February 15, 2010

Defensive driving is a six-hour hellacious time suck but if you go you get to see the Texas version of the Hawaiian shirt.

It’s a shirt that depicts dogs hunting birds.

Almost everyone in the class was either 70+ or 16-21.  One 17-year-old fellow who was in class for doing 44 mph in a school zone (he also informed us that he had been stopped so many times that he now qualified for the special Texas driver’s insurance for high risk drivers. Seventeen) made me want to commit murder. His hair was in his eyes, he was incapable of stringing together coherent thoughts and kept interrupting class with his random stories of all the times he had been stopped.  Every time he spoke all I could think about was if this was my child I would be one of those suicide homicide stories you see on the news. I would have to kill my child for being an utter moron and myself for not having the sense to sterilize myself.  My description of him is not doing him justice at all but trust me when I say if you had to spend six hours in class with this dude stabbing him multiple times with your pen would have crossed your mind too.

The DD teacher tries to make things funny. Ours kept talking about the Mayan calendar and how the world is going to end in 2012.  And every time he made this comment (which was supposed to be a joke, but wasn’t actually funny) this other fellow in class, who thinks that Reagan is the only President who never lied to the American public (um, they all lie, you should have figured that out by now), would talk about how the world is going to end but according to the book of Revelations we don’t know when that will be. He also said that he thought the Mayans probably got tired of chiseling in the wall and just decided to stop. They don’t know when the world is going to end. Only God does.

The DD teacher made the Mayan calendar joke at least six times. And EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I had to hear about the book of Revelations and his theory on the tired Mayans. It was awesome.

That guy was also upset that I was the first one to finish the test at the end of class. As I was walking out the door he called out to me, “I can’t believe you finished the test before me.” Uh, dude, not only did I finish the test before you (by a good 5 minutes) I also got a 100 and you didn’t and that is because you didn’t figure out that the answers of the multiple choice test were DCBA the entire way down. You should be more ashamed of not figuring that out than me beating you.

Let’s hope it’s at least another two decades before I have to repeat defensive driving. The brain only has a finite number of brain cells.

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Valentines Day Fail

Posted by parsingtime on February 13, 2010

Don’t buy this for Valentines Day. Or any day for that matter.

What a terrible idea. At least the Snuggie will keep you warm.

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The End of My First Car

Posted by parsingtime on December 15, 2009

The people of Craigslist do not deserve to buy my lovely Sentra. Half of them can’t spell (I’m am enquiring about…) and half of them are crazy.

Like one guy emailed and asked if we would take $1600. Husband emailed back and said he had two people coming to look at the car and if they didn’t offer something better then maybe. The first person who came to visit offered $1700 so Husband emailed the dude back and said he got a higher offer and was the guy still interested. The guy writes back to tell Husband that if he got an offer of $1700 he should have taken it and that he doesn’t like the way Husband does business and he is going to take his money elsewhere.

Husband is not a dealer of used cars so taking your money elsewhere does not hurt him. Plus why is it any of the dude’s business how much we sell the car for?

One lady emailed and said she would buy the car if Husband went to two specific insurance websites and told her how much the insurance would be for the car.

The car ended up selling yesterday for $50 under the asking price (asking price was Kelly Blue Book) which is pretty hilarious since I introduced my car to a lamp-post back in March and the dent is still there. A lovely Grandpa bought it for his daughter who is in AP classes and she needs a car more than he needs jet ski’s. And his wife had a doctor’s appointment yesterday so they had to have sandwiches for lunch. And if we could meet him by the Cut Rite, which used to be Eckerds but got bought out (you mean Rite Aid), oh yes, Rite Aid not Cut Rite. And do you think it will be okay to get the title notarized if we are at a different bank than my normal bank. I sure hope so because I don’t normally go to this bank I go to the one on Smith Road and…the man does not stop to take a breath. Every conversation with him on the phone takes at least 20 minutes and showing him the car took over an hour (he brought a flashlight and looked under the car!), which is amazing because he is a complete stranger.

And so the Sentra after 12 years and six months will no longer be my car. Lots of stuff happened in that car…I drove to lots of High School football games and road tripped to Atlanta in that car. Random and I drove home from college in that car while singing to oldies. Emilia would look at me horrified as I drove down the highway not realizing I was doing 85 mph. I drove to my first post law school job in that car. I drove that car to my wedding.  I made my first expensive purchase when I bought a CD player for that car (the receipt was still in the glove box $187).

Things Husband also found in the glove box? A tire gauge, a swiss army knife, a tampon and a compass. These are the things I considered necessary for car survival at some point.

Bye, Sentra. It’s been a good ride.

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Weeknight

Posted by parsingtime on November 9, 2009

We’ve been trying to get together for dinner with some new friends here in Charlotte for several weeks now. It seems the weekends they are free we aren’t or vice versa. So Husband suggested that perhaps we try for a weeknight sometime.

The guys response?  We spend weeknights with our dog. He is home alone all day so we try to spend the evenings with him.

I understand loving your dog.  Some people even treat their dogs like kids. But if your dogs or kids are keeping you from going out on a weeknight forevermore, you have a problem.

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