Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for the ‘MOG’ Category

Toddler Fashion Police

Posted by parsingtime on March 14, 2012

Am I the only person who thinks halter tops, tube tops, one shoulder rompers and spaghetti straps are inappropriate for the 2t to 10 year old set stores are trying to sell to?

My kid is going to hate me when she is 10 because all her friends are going to look cute and 15 and she will still look ten.

I can’t even use turning another year older this month as an excuse, because I’ve always been a 900 years old. My age is just catching up with my outlook.

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Thankful

Posted by parsingtime on November 25, 2010

Oh, Sarah Palin, I’m thankful today that you never disappoint me.

Also, for family and baked goods, but mostly Sarah Palin.

 

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Naps

Posted by parsingtime on July 13, 2010

My SIL took a three hour nap today.

My FIL has been asleep for the last 2 1/2 hours.

I slept from 2:30am to 5:30am and then 6ish to 7:30am. Who do I have to kill to get a nap?

There should be a rule that if the new mom doesn’t get a nap then no one does.

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Postpartum

Posted by parsingtime on July 9, 2010

I think the post postpartum hormones are starting to kick in. This song pulled up on my iTunes yesterday and I almost started crying. People, I am not sentimental.

And then? The next song? Nina Simone’s version of To Love Somebody. Dude, when am I going to be normal again?

The universe is clearly conspiring against me and normalcy.

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Ingrown

Posted by parsingtime on June 30, 2010

That numb big toe I mentioned a few weeks ago? Not pregnancy carpal tunnel but ingrown toe nail exacerbated by swollen pregnancy feet.  How do I know this? It was really painful so I went to the podiatrist yesterday and twenty minutes later I was having minor toe surgery to remove said ingrown. Also, I have a low tolerance for pain if the toe is anything to go by.

So now I have a big ass bandage around my toe and have to take care of this sucker for the next two weeks along with a newborn (who probably won’t arrive for another two weeks because she takes after Husband and wants to make a late entrance into the world).

Ultrasound check up this morning (my first since about 24 weeks or so) to see if Baby is too big to pass through my hips and to check on whether my uterus continues to be a hospitable environment.

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Come on, come out, the weather is warm

Posted by parsingtime on June 29, 2010

Dear People Who Constantly Call To See If  The Baby Is Here,

If the baby was here or there was anything for you to know, you would know.

Stop calling.

Thanks,

Parsing, who might have an apoplectic fit if this baby chooses not to come out this week

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Still Here

Posted by parsingtime on June 22, 2010

Surprisingly I have nothing to say if it isn’t about being pregnant. I will say that after weeks of being head down I think she turned to head up. I’m not happy about that. Clearly she enjoys mind games.

But in the interest of some diversity in my life…who is surprised that Joran Van Der Sloot retracted his murder confession? If I were going to spend 30 years in a Lima prison with a reputation for being one of the worst prisons in the world I would recant too.

Yeah, I have nothing else.

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Hate Dish Network

Posted by parsingtime on June 16, 2010

Dish Network keeps calling me. I’m on the do not call list.  They always have an Indian person call me and somehow manage to hide on the caller ID who they are.  The last three times they have called I’ve asked them to remove me from their list. This time they called and after I told him I wanted to be off the list he tried to tell me about all the bollywood films I could be watching on Dish Network.  I told them that I don’t watch Hindi films and hate bollywood and don’t want to subscribe to dish network and while saying, “please take me off your list.”  The guy hung up on me.

I really hate when telemarketers hang up on you. I hadn’t raised my voice or shouted obscenities down the phone. I was just trying to make the point that after a fourth phone call I expect my name to be taken off their damn list already.

A quick google search shows they are being sued by the FTC for calling people on the do not call list.  Businesses that call people on the list get fined $16,000 per call. I hope they get fined.

The government needs money and since they aren’t getting it from estate taxes of the rich this year they might as well get it from Dish Network.

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Buying Adult Furniture

Posted by parsingtime on June 11, 2010

When Husband and I moved into our new house we made our first foray into buying adult furniture. You know, not the stuff from Ikea or the bedroom furniture that Husband bought in a divorce sale (which actually is adult furniture it just gets lumped in with everything else because we bought it in a divorce sale). In almost five years of marriage we have never had a coffee table. Having a place to put drinks is like a crazy luxury item for the two of us.

Anyway, we have yet to have a delivery of furniture go 100% right. Some of the stores we have ordered from are pretty high end (ie we didn’t go to the furniture store that is just one above Ikea) and still they manage to bring incorrect items, items that are damaged or they just don’t bring everything and then want to charge a second delivery fee to deliver the rest of the stuff.

None of this flies with me at all. My serious voice comes out and I demand that correct items be delivered for free and undamaged.

So far:

  • Our dining table came with three damaged chairs, which they will be replacing sometime in July. I may damage our chairs two days after receiving them but they better come to me in perfect condition.
  • We received our bar stools yesterday with the wrong fabric. Like completely wrong.
  • The balance of our baby furniture is supposed to arrive sometime on Monday. The first time they brought the stuff the entire back of some drawers were ripped up. They said they could send a furniture guy out to repair it and I wouldn’t know the difference. I told them they could take it back to their warehouse and sell it to someone else because I wanted mine to come in pristine condition. If I wanted damaged furniture I would buy it at a garage sale or consignment store.

We still have several things to buy (like a coffee table) and I’m ready to give up and go back to Ikea. At least with that stuff you put it together yourself and any dings/damage are your fault…and given how meticulous Husband is about putting that stuff together our stuff is never damaged.

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Spilled Water

Posted by parsingtime on June 7, 2010

One glass of water managed to soak my shorts, underwear, the couch, shoes, pillows behind my back and floor. Amazingly it missed my computer completely.

Also, if you were wondering if soaking your lap in ice water could possibly bring on labor….it doesn’t.

So ready not to be a clumsy pregnant person.

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