More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Police Officer N

Posted by parsingtime on November 8, 2014

N marches to the beat of her own drum. This halloween in a sea of Elsa’s and various princesses she chose to be a police officer, with handcuffs to arrest bad guys and put them in jail.

I love that she picked that costume. She does what she likes. She still has a very “little kid” enjoyment of Halloween. She was so excited that anyone was giving her candy and the folks that let her pick two? Well that blew her mind. Like all kids she loves candy but doesn’t get it all that frequently. So both husband and I thought she would be all about going to as many houses as possible. But no, not N. We trick or treated for about an hour and then she wanted to go home where she spent the next hour or so handing out candy.

Because Mama I love seeing kids costumes and giving them candy because it makes them happy. 



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Good Day

Posted by parsingtime on March 16, 2012

Today is the best day I’ve had in several weeks (no vomit, diarrhea, root canals, cranky toddlers). Just a good day filled with a special post birthday coffee for Mommy (many miles out of my way for my favorite hot drink), two hours at the park for N, followed by her favorite broccoli pizza, and coloring and playing while Mommy tidied the house.

Now she is napping and I’m catching up on some very important news in the form of US Weekly (personal note to Jessica Simpson, lay off the buttered pop tarts girlfriend).

Bottle of champagne in the fridge, art class this afternoon and Husband is home tonight.

Happy to feel like my old self (amazing what a full night of sleep will do for both you and your child).

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Cheese Monkey

Posted by parsingtime on March 13, 2012

Husband and his parents decided they wanted to take N to Chuck E Cheese this past weekend. I did not agree with this for several reasons, one she is too young (deemed a party pooper for that one), two, she hates crowds (it was a rainy Sunday), three, she gets scared in loud places (ball parks, large parties etc).

I was overruled.

She did relatively well there but there were very few games for her to play, and she was too little for the tubes and slides by herself.  The loud noises and large crowd were a little overwhelming.  But none of that compares to Husband showing her the animatronic Chuck E Cheese band on stage.  That scared the shiznit out of her.

She was so scared that that night she woke up several times before I finally brought her to our bad crying and clinging to my head saying, “scare cheese monkey, mommy. Scare cheese monkey.”  Cheese Monkey = Chuck E Cheese, who is technically a mouse but looked like a scary non-flying Wizard of Oz Monkey.  She spent the rest of the night attached to my head.

Husband then went out of town. And daylight savings occurred so now I have a kid who is telling me, “no dark mommy, no nigh nigh” and “mommy lie down, scare cheese monkey.”  Translation – it isn’t dark you crazy woman why do I have to go to bed and lie down next to my crib and hold my hand because I’m scared.

Party pooper or not I get to decide the activity next time.

PS – I have recovered from my hell week though I did step in a pile of ants on Monday. And I burned my hand tonight on a pan so I’m not sure it is completely over yet.

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Posted by parsingtime on March 9, 2012

My week continued to go downhill.  I caught N’s virus which manifested itself at 11:30 last night in buckets of diarrhea and vomit. Was that too graphic? Sorry. It was more graphic for Husband who walked into the bathroom at 1:30 in the morning when he heard the retching and groaning.  We will both attest to the fact that spicy jambalaya is not good in reverse.

You would think that feeling and looking like what was coming out of my body would mean canceling my root canal. But no, I manned up, took some Imodium and hoped for the best. I managed to get through the dentist without incident and came home and slept. But it was touch and go for a while on whether I was going to be that woman who vomited on her dentist.

And then — oh you thought that was the end of the story? It isn’t. IT GOT WORSE. — I grabbed N’s hand to walk her to the bath and she started crying.  Her arm went limp.  Husband walked in and realized something was really wrong and we went to urgent care. Her radial bone slipped out of the tendon and the doctor had to maneuver it back in.

We also had to hold her down for x-rays while she pitifully hic-cried, “home, home, arm hurt, home” over and over.

The amazing thing was once the doctor fixed her arm she was back to her usual happy self and started talking about all the rain, and thunder and how the “doc-ker fixed arm.”

I’m hoping this is all this week is going to throw at me because seriously, I’m raising the white flag.

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This week is not going to get better

Posted by parsingtime on March 7, 2012

All weekend I dealt with a tooth ache that made me understand why people with chronic pain would consider suicide.

So Tuesday I went to the dentist so he could fix it. It didn’t work.

I went to my favorite coffee shop to console myself with a orange mocha latte.  I needed the sugar and caffeine because  I couldn’t sleep due to the searing pain in my head.  The espresso machine was broken. I ordered a muffin. It was dry so I returned it. Turned out it was yesterdays muffin.

N decided today would be a good day to get a virus and spent the day alternating between puke and diarrhea. Diarrhea that caused her to tell me, “poopy smell bad mommy.”  Understatement of 2012.

I spent her nap time working instead of showering because vomit covered mommy had a deadline.

Friday I get a root canal.

And this weekend my in-laws visit.

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Posted by parsingtime on January 19, 2012

I did a 90 minute hot yoga class in a room that smelled of sweaty feet, next to a hairless man in a speedo.

Hot yoga + sweat + carpet = disgusting.

Also, N started crying today when we turned into the parking lot so that’s going well.

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What’s New

Posted by parsingtime on December 8, 2011

It has been a while. Things currently going on in the land of Time?

  • I’m obsessed with hot yoga. Obsessed.
  • N is obsessed with swings and parks. OBSESSED. To the infinity squared degree. Too bad it is 40 degrees out.
  • Our holiday photo this year kind of sucks.
  • I’m 90% with my holiday shopping  and 80% done with wrapping.
  • The perfect gift for Husband just sort of landed in my lap, let’s see if  I can pull it off.  We don’t usually do gifts for each other since we buy what we want/need anyway.  But when things do crop up it is nice to surprise him.
  • Ferberizing a 17 month old is painful.  We are never traveling with the baby again. Not until ferber no longer applies to her.
  • 8 days until Husband has two weeks off.
  • I somehow managed to forget to go to the dentist for the last 27 months (in my defense I went right before I got pregnant and then we moved and then a baby and yeah…).  My bank account is regretting that little mistake.
  • I’m a little disturbed at the rate my mom’s group seems be getting pregnant or trying.  All our kids are the same age. It is not time to have another baby, not for me at least. The thought of being pregnant makes my reproductive organs clench in horror. HORROR. And yet I’m happy for them because it is what they want.
  • Jerry Sandusky also makes me clench in horror.  Every time I blow kisses on N’s tummy (a zerbert, I recently learned it is called) I think of him and how he used to do that to little boys.  I hate that his (alleged) pedophilia has intruded on something that is so fun and funny to N.
  • I could vote for Mitt but I could not vote for Newt. Newt! Who does that to their child? Not that the name Mitt is that much better (or Barack for that matter) but I have always had a special place of dislike for Newt (carefully masked when I asked him if I could take a photo with him many years ago).
  • Husband has instituted a new policy in which he does not want me to put away his laundry.  He currently has 2 1/2 weeks of laundry piled up in a basket.
  • I am single handedly keeping Amazon in business.

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Winning…but not.

Posted by parsingtime on July 20, 2011

The last time I looked at the clock before actually falling asleep last night? 2:30.

Time husband came back in the room before leaving for work to tell me the baby was awake? 5:02.

Minutes spent with baby in bed with me in an attempt to get her to go back to sleep? 8

Minutes baby spent poking my eyes and pulling my hair in an attempt to let me know she wasn’t going to sleep? 3 (I let her play with my blackberry after that)

I’m winning in the Charlie Sheen sense of the word.

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Termites. Big Ones.

Posted by parsingtime on July 7, 2011

We’ve had a busy week here in the Land of Time.  Last week was exciting because not only did we have a big first birthday to finish planning and attend but we found a leak! In our wall! And then TERMITES! In the wall! My little handyman, looked at me with frightened eyes and in his Spanish accent said, “Ms. Parsing, you have termites. Beeeeg ones.”

Sixteen hundred dollars (Leak covered by insurance? Of course not!)  later Husband and I are considering renting in the future. You know I read in the Journal that most Americans couldn’t come up with $2000 in 30 days if they needed it for a car repair or health emergency etc.  Which makes me feel fortunate and at the same time I feel awful for all the people out there who are really suffering in this economy.  I really am worried about the future of America which I know sounds so silly but we have big problems and they need fixing by people who want to really fix problems and not people who want to make sure their state gets pork money. Taxes are going to have to be raised, politicians. Mark my words.

Anyway, moving on. Termites, birthdays, oh my! The party went well except for all the crying by the birthday girl.  She enjoyed Kelly’s homemade cupcake probably a little too much and received some lovely gifts.  Though it must be said, I think boys receive a lot more toys and girls get clothes because people love shopping for girls clothes.  Fortunately, we have R&N willing to share their toys with N.  The ball popper is very popular in my house right now.

We have a birthday party or are out of town from now until the August 19th weekend. That is just madness but we are excited to celebrate milestones with all our friends.

Onward and Upward.

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Posted by parsingtime on June 26, 2011

N and I have been sick. It is about as fun as you would imagine with added nose suctioning and mucus pukes added into the mix.  We seem to be on the mend and once again I have to say how fortunate I feel to be in my neighborhood where the people I’ve only known for the last year or so were at my doorstep with humidifiers, freshly made baby food and nosefridas within hours of hearing of the pestilence that had hit the Time household.

Truly lovely women.


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