Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for the ‘Conversations’ Category

Fruit Loops

Posted by parsingtime on November 7, 2014

Mom I know that cereal. Those are fruit loops. They are disgusting. 

And my work here is done.

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Controversy!

Posted by parsingtime on April 10, 2013

Mommy when it is my birthday I’m going to marry you.

Well we are both girls. Girls in Texas can’t get married.

Why? I don’t like that. I’m going to marry you and Daddy and all my friends at my birthday. And I’mma marry my birthday cake.

Well there you have it kids — N is for gay marriage, polygamy and entering into a lawful union with cake.

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Such a Dad

Posted by parsingtime on December 9, 2011

I called Husband about two minutes after he left for work today.

Guess what.

What? N pooped in the potty?

Nooooo, but I did find the garage door opener that has been missing for the last nine months.

Oh.

You are such a dad now.

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Hoodwinked

Posted by parsingtime on August 8, 2011

I feel like buying something. How about we get a lake house?

No, I’m serious, how great would it be to have a place to unwind.

Because you have so much free time?

Okay, well what if we buy a new house?

We have a great interest rate and the credit rating just got downgraded. I don’t think now is the time to be shopping for a mortgage.

Okay, can I buy a fancy computer?

Yes. Go buy a fancy computer.

I would say that I had been hoodwinked except he was totally serious about the lake house. <rolls eyes>

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Nerds Playing Nerd Sports

Posted by parsingtime on August 6, 2011

So I think we should look into Creme de la Creme because so and so’s kid got into St. John by going there.

St. John? Why are you concerned about getting N into St. John. When I was in high school we played those guys in Academic Decathalon and the were the biggest nerds out there.

Academic Decathalon? So let me get this straight. You were a nerd, playing a nerd “sport” and you thought those guys were nerds?

They wore sports jackets and pocket protectors. Okay, fine I admit I was nerdy but not as much as those guys.

Who won when you played them.

They did.

Exactly. And I want N to be a winner.

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Affair

Posted by parsingtime on January 26, 2011

For context: so our next door neighbor works off shore and is gone for several weeks in a row and then back for several. His wife ,of course, is home while he is gone. I’ve been speculating that she is having an affair because every night a huge monster truck is parked outside their house and I’ve never seen it before during any of their parties etc. It has been a bit of a running conversation about just what the man in the monster truck is like (and by running conversation I mean I discuss it at dinner, the story getting crazier by the day and Husband ignores me).  Just call me Mrs. Kravitz (you know what I’m referencing right? ).

So I don’t think Doreen is having affair after all.

Oh really?

Yeah, I saw the guy who owns the monster truck and he looks like he might be her brother.

I figured it had to be something like that. Though it would be even more interesting if she was having an affair with her brother.

Husband came up with an option that hadn’t even crossed my overactive imagination. Perhaps he was paying attention after all.

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That Bad

Posted by parsingtime on December 1, 2010

How was your day?

That state of my shirt should tell you all you need to know.

Oh, wow. That bad, huh?

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You Slept

Posted by parsingtime on November 24, 2010

I didn’t sleep at all last night.

Oh really? You didn’t move any of the three times N was up last night?

N got up three times last night?

Yes, she did. You may have slept poorly but you were definitely asleep.

I’m only slightly bitter about the I didn’t sleep at all last night comment. I’m at my breaking point. After 5 months of feeding N at night, the question must be asked…isn’t she full yet?

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James Cameron

Posted by parsingtime on November 22, 2010

You know what that movie is like?

What?

It’s Pocahontas set in the future. I’m never watching another James Cameron movie again. Between that and Titanic I feel like I’ve wasted 6 hours of my life.

Guess who watched Avatar last night.

You aren’t going to like that.

You don’t know that.

Yes, I do. You aren’t going to like that.

Takes a bite…we are at someone’s home and they are serving dessert. Husband, eats his bite and then eats one more. Later that evening:

That thing was disgusting. I can’t believe you let me eat that.

I tried to stop him.

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Woody vs. Buzz

Posted by parsingtime on October 5, 2010

We were out with some neighbors tonight and one of the kids was playing with a Buzz Lightyear toy.

Seeing that kid with that Buzz Lightyear made me really hopeful we have a boy next.

Well that’s up to you.

I know but Buzz is awesome.

N might like Buzz Lightyear, you never know.

Yeah maybe. She’ll probably like Woody. All girls like Woody. I hate Woody. He can’t make a damned decision to save his life. I hate the fact that she’ll like Woody. And! If she were to marry someone like that, she would be cut off for sure.


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