Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for July, 2011

She Won

Posted by parsingtime on July 29, 2011

So she just stopped eating. Anything. Except moon pop and watermelon. So I gave in. I’m going to try just a bottle at night and sippys during the day but given how far she is now managed to throw the cup when it has milk in it the only thing that is being accomplished is N practicing for her shot put.

I give up. She wins.

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Mommy Horribilus

Posted by parsingtime on July 27, 2011

Have put my crying baby to bed with about 4 ounces of milk in her. That’s 4 ounces all day. She usually drinks about 18.

I’m not sure why I decide to do these crazy things when Husband isn’t here.  But I might or might not have eaten ice cream for dinner.

Now I have to get on the elliptical to work off the guilt of starving my kiddo and eating too much sugar.

Mama 1, N 0 but the winning tastes like horrible mother who starves innocent children, who just want to eat the same way they have for the last year.

Holy moly, can you even imagine what my stubborn and her stubborn are going result in 15 years from now?

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We Shall Overcome

Posted by parsingtime on July 27, 2011

I don’t keep sugar/ice cream/chocolate etc in my house because I know if it is there then I will eat it.

My daughter is very much like me in one way. If she wants something and she knows it’s available she is going to damn well have it. And she’ll wait you out until you’re the one caving in.

So today we are weaning from the bottle. She can drink from a sippy cup but refuses to drink milk from a sippy because she wants a bottle. And for the past few days I have tried the sippy and a couple of hours later I cave and give her a bottle.

Well not today. Today I’m taking a stand and N is not going to win, regardless of the guilt I feel over the fact that she has only drunk an ounce or two of milk today.

Send ice cream. I’m going to need it.

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Winning…but not.

Posted by parsingtime on July 20, 2011

The last time I looked at the clock before actually falling asleep last night? 2:30.

Time husband came back in the room before leaving for work to tell me the baby was awake? 5:02.

Minutes spent with baby in bed with me in an attempt to get her to go back to sleep? 8

Minutes baby spent poking my eyes and pulling my hair in an attempt to let me know she wasn’t going to sleep? 3 (I let her play with my blackberry after that)

I’m winning in the Charlie Sheen sense of the word.

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Theories!

Posted by parsingtime on July 14, 2011

So N knows the signs for all done, more and milk.

Teaching her those signs seems good in theory (they are the only ones I know, first off).  Theoretically they should make my life easier. My non-English speaking child (she is fluent in babble and screaming for fun) would be able to tell me things!

Theories!

Good in theory!

Not so good in real life.

N now signs for milk while we are having dinner. Or after two bites of lunch, signs that she is all done.

And the more? Well she knows more but I never know what she wants more of.  I was on the phone and she was signing more, more, more furiously with her little hand foot and mouth rash covered hands and I had no idea what she wanted. I handed her a book, blocks, a magazine to rip up, a baby shoe (someone is obsessed with velcro right now)…turns out she wanted my phone.  She uses more for want.

It’s the mystery game…figure out what N wants!

Also in the world of unintended signing when I say no N wags one Bill Clinton-esque I did not have relations with that woman finger at me and shakes her head.  Because my mother wags her finger when she says no.  I feel like I’m being mocked and also that it is kind of hilarious. I’m trying to capture it on video. Because she clearly doesn’t understand that I want her to stop doing something. It’s the same as when I ask her where her head is and she points to her head.  No, in her little world means shaking your head and wagging your finger.

Apropos of nothing N got a hair cut today. The rat tail/mullet is gone and what is left behind is truly a toddler with a ‘do and not a baby. Shocking how a few inches of styled hair can make such a difference.

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Malaise

Posted by parsingtime on July 13, 2011

Hand foot and mouth sucks hairy goat balls.

No “real” illness so to speak (i.e. fever, cough etc) but the rash and general malaise is making N miserable to be around.  I would let her pluck out my eyelashes if it meant she would take a decent nap, eat a decent meal and stop with the crying.

One by one. It would hurt. Like using a spoon to take out your heart.

Blergh.

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Almond Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

Posted by parsingtime on July 12, 2011

I love dessert. I’m a sugar addict. I don’t deny this but I generally keep my urges under control. I had bookmarked this recipe a few weeks ago wanting to try it, it looked reasonably healthy and almonds are good for you, right?  Husband is a big cookie person, especially chocolate chip and he liked these cookies. And let’s be honest, usually when I make healthy versions of things he doesn’t usually like them so this is a big deal.

Adapted from Clean Eating  Almond butter chocolate chip cookies

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 cup unsalted almond butter (I used unsweetened)
  • 3/4 cup Turbinado
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 tsp sea salt
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • chocolate chips

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F. In a medium bowl, stir together first 5 ingredients until blended. Stir in chocolate.
  2. Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls onto parchment-lined baking sheets. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until lightly browned. Let cool on baking sheets for 5 minutes. Remove to a wire rack and let cool for 15 more minutes.
Whatever you do don’t pick them up before they have cooled. They will fall apart. No really, not even with a spatula. One cookie is definitely enough, you get the sweet but also feel satisfied like you had peanut butter toast or something

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Hand Foot and Mouth

Posted by parsingtime on July 10, 2011

N has hand foot and mouth disease…ugh. She also managed to give it to some of playgroup because I didn’t know she was sick — no symptoms or rash or anything on Thursday when we went  and boom Friday I had an irritable kid with a rash.

We of course canceled attending what would have been an amazing birthday party for an adorable two year old this weekend so that all those kids didn’t get sick. I was sad I was going to miss out on cake and then Sunshine’s wife brought over cupcakes. I’m glad the pestilence at our house didn’t keep them away.

How can my kid not be sick for 50 weeks of her life and then be sick twice in three weeks? Even more annoying about her diagnosis? The pediatrician thinks she probably caught it at her 12 month check up.  Sometimes going to the doctors office is worse than just riding things out at home!

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Termites. Big Ones.

Posted by parsingtime on July 7, 2011

We’ve had a busy week here in the Land of Time.  Last week was exciting because not only did we have a big first birthday to finish planning and attend but we found a leak! In our wall! And then TERMITES! In the wall! My little handyman, looked at me with frightened eyes and in his Spanish accent said, “Ms. Parsing, you have termites. Beeeeg ones.”

Sixteen hundred dollars (Leak covered by insurance? Of course not!)  later Husband and I are considering renting in the future. You know I read in the Journal that most Americans couldn’t come up with $2000 in 30 days if they needed it for a car repair or health emergency etc.  Which makes me feel fortunate and at the same time I feel awful for all the people out there who are really suffering in this economy.  I really am worried about the future of America which I know sounds so silly but we have big problems and they need fixing by people who want to really fix problems and not people who want to make sure their state gets pork money. Taxes are going to have to be raised, politicians. Mark my words.

Anyway, moving on. Termites, birthdays, oh my! The party went well except for all the crying by the birthday girl.  She enjoyed Kelly’s homemade cupcake probably a little too much and received some lovely gifts.  Though it must be said, I think boys receive a lot more toys and girls get clothes because people love shopping for girls clothes.  Fortunately, we have R&N willing to share their toys with N.  The ball popper is very popular in my house right now.

We have a birthday party or are out of town from now until the August 19th weekend. That is just madness but we are excited to celebrate milestones with all our friends.

Onward and Upward.

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Someone Likes Cake

Posted by parsingtime on July 5, 2011

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