More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for May, 2011


Posted by parsingtime on May 31, 2011

Given how much clean laundry is piled up in baskets I definitely hate folding clothes more than I hate unloading the dishwasher.

I realized at 8:00 pm this evening that I hadn’t showered today and the last time I washed my hair was at the hairdressers on Saturday. I also realized I had worked out four times since that hair washing.  So I washed my hair.  It’s not the washing I hate, it’s the drying and fixing. I feel this is the hair version of folding and putting away laundry.

When Husband is out of town I might or might not exercise in my underwear so as not to add to the laundry. I can neither confirm nor deny this allegation.

Kelly and her Husband have added value to my life by introducing to me netflix on demand.  After I finish this I will be watching the Tudors while I fold laundry.

My kid continues to be all sorts of adorable.  Also a little nightmarish. Teething Diarrhea, which equals more laundry.  More on that in 3 days.

My neighborhood has one vegetarian restaurant, one vegan, two cupcake places, a place that makes the most divine caramel latte on the earth and a locally sourced organic butcher.  All within walking distance of my house. My neighborhood is gastronomically cooler than your neighborhood, especially if you live in Houston. Except if you walk then you sweat because it is a million degrees out and require a shower and then more laundry.

Sunshine and Sunshine’s wife — call me, email me, send a carrier pigeon. We want to see you before you move to NYC. Nothing to do with laundry but I thought I would throw it in there.

I have more but I have to go the Mount Everest high — okay, fine, I exaggerate —  Mount McKinley pile of laundry must be folded and put away tonight. Must!


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Posted by parsingtime on May 22, 2011

I thought about eating a vat of ice cream on Friday, because if the world was ending I wanted to make sure I was full of saturated fat, but then I didn’t because I was too full from  so-so sushi (btw, where is the good sushi Houston? Can someone please tell me?).  So I guess I’m glad that Rapture fellow was wrong.

The new babysitter is nice. She seems reliable. She did after all show up and the kid was still alive when we arrived home, which is really all I’m asking for.

I do in fact know the difference between the words where and wear, their and there, whole and hole. I understand that really isn’t clear given how I write these blog posts sometimes.  It is shocking to think I have a graduate degree. I also take no responsibility for the grammar on this site.

This child is deceptively cute. On Wednesday I would have sold her for a box of twinkies and I don’t like twinkies (but it made good sense with the Rapture and all because twinkies and cockroaches could survive anything) . Fortunately, her good humor and mine have been restored and there are two new teeth peeking out.

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Tyson or Gupta

Posted by parsingtime on May 17, 2011

I called to cancel an account and when the operator finally answered I got “Tyson” who clearly had an Indian accent and was trying to convince me that he could give me two months free and then a discounted rate for the account I was closing. I politely declined.  He then offered me a one year subscription (which was cheaper then the 2 month free then pay option). I declined that too.

He then cancelled my account and when he told me to have a nice day, I told him “Have a nice evening. It is is evening in India right?” He was surprised I knew that he, Tyson was Indian. Ha.  It totally made me think of the Outsourced show on TV and the Microsoft-like support workers who wear suits and act like they are working in Huntsville, Alabama.

I think it even made me friendlier or else I’m mellowing in my old age because usually I don’t like being sold something when I’m trying to cancel.

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For Emily

Posted by parsingtime on May 16, 2011

The baby has gone from no teeth to four coming in at the same time. I’m dealing with diarrhea, sticky phlegm, and crying. I also sprayed milk all over myself and the kitchen. Today was a bad day. Husband poured  me a glass of wine.

Baby’s first Astros game.We beat NY.  N didn’t like all the home runs the Astros were getting. Too noisy.

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Third Time’s the Charm

Posted by parsingtime on May 9, 2011

I’m interviewing a babysitter tomorrow. The last two babysitters I’ve interviewed have suggested meeting at Starbucks. Babysitter No. 3 suggested FroYo.  On one hand I feel like we might be kindred spirits because FroYo is her generations ice cream and at the same time, YOGURT AS A PRETEND SOUR DESSERT (I’ve written about my dislike of this before) offends me at the deepest level.

Anyway, the first babysitter is now graduating from college and the second didn’t show up once and this is the third. I’m hoping third times the charm.  Interestingly, all our babysitters are of different ethnicities all from Rice University.  We’re an equal opportunity employer except when you don’t show up.

Le Bebe is also on the move and started crawling last Friday.  She didn’t really master it until today. Now if only she would grow some teeth.  I also moved her from the baby tub into the regular person tub.

She is starting to look like such a girl to me. No longer a baby. I kind of wish she could stay little a little longer. Maybe 6 months old — sleeping through the night but still cute and cuddly. Not the kid who while in your arms sees you eating banana bread and steals a huge bite before you could even blink.

She is also still the kid with the most hair ever. Seriously, there are toddlers who have less hair than she had when she was born.

Posted in Baby, Life | 2 Comments »

Good Weekend

Posted by parsingtime on May 9, 2011

We made up for the debacle that was last weekend with a good weekend.  Dinner with lovely friends that we don’t see enough, with lovely food and good conversation (and no one there was eating before prom or discussing chesticles).

I made Mothers Day breakfast for my mom (Ina Garten’s baked eggs and Smitten Kitchen’s Creme Brulee french toast) and she in turn let me sleep in and watched the baby.  Husband came through as well and I have a massage in my future.

We even hit up the Children’s Museum. I don’t know who was more excited, N or Husband (there was a section of the museum where you got to pretend to be a commodities trader or something, Husband was very excited).  N enjoyed the ball pit and baby-watched.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend too.

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Thanks Husband

Posted by parsingtime on May 6, 2011

Husband will admit he is hardly ever considerate. But when he tries to do something nice he usually goes overboard. Like when I wanted an iTunes gift card for my birthday and I got 50 iTunes gift cards in various amounts (this was two years ago and I still haven’t spent all that money).  Yesterday he came home with bahn mi and cupcakes, in part because I had made breakfast for 8 in the morning and didn’t want to make dinner. But does he come home with 2 cupcakes? No he comes home with six.

And though we did not eat them all, I got on the elliptical when really all I wanted to do was get into bed with elastic waist pants.

That’s the thing about Husband you can’t tell him things you like because then you end up with a crazy much nicer version of it that you expected.  Like my car. Going from a Sentra to a Highlander would have been a huge change but leave it to Husband and I end up with an MDX.  But he tries and his effort is appreciated especially on a Friday night when I have to work (which is no fun for him since he is coming off a killer week) at least there is a nutella cupcake and some excellent Pandora tunes to keep me company.

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Poop Show

Posted by parsingtime on May 5, 2011

I would like to just make myself a note here because this is going in the baby book.

N did not not poop on schedule yesterday. For the first time in ten months.  In fact she didn’t poop at all. Her bowels are REGULAR. I mean you know what time it is based on smelling her butt. Twice a day at the same time for at least 7 or 8 months.

I’m pretty sure this might be a sign of the apocalypse.

I’m also expecting today to be epic. I already have the washer primed and ready to go.

Edit: It was epic. The washer was used.

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Ten Months: You are the Mountain Not Muhammed

Posted by parsingtime on May 3, 2011


Happy Ten Month Birthday. You and I have officially spent 80 weeks together (I”ll explain that later).  That sounds like a long time but just wait until I move into your house when I’m 80 and you have to change my diapers. I’m betting one week will feel like 80 then. It’s all relative.

I thought this month I would be talking about your crawling. But no you are content to sit on your diaper clad butt and wait for life and all its interesting things to come to you.  There is no crawling, no attempt at pulling up and no pulling yourself into a sitting position by yourself.  You rock back and forth and do a mean downward dog (not even kidding about that) but other than that? Nothing.  All your little buddies are crawling and climbing and you are not.  This is making your father and I very paranoid.  I imagine this is just the first of many times we will feel paranoid about your progress and compare you to your friends.  You just don’t seem terribly interested in furthering your physical mobility.

You are however brilliant (I might be reaching on this. You can’t crawl so mama will make you good at something). When you are asked where the ball is you can pick it out from a group of items and give it to me.  You can do that with several different objects and 90% of the time you can also point to mama and dada in different photos lining the stairs.  Your mental faculties are top notch (or just average but we’ll say top notch because it sounds better).

Back to your little friends. They all have teeth.  You have none. I’m pretty sure we are going to have to fit you for dentures in a few months.  Or maybe veneers.  Growing teeth is just one of those things people do and if you can’t do it, well,  hopefully we’ll be able to sell your DNA to some medical study and make some money off of your strangeness.

We also made a huge progress this month in that you pet both a cat and a dog without cowering in fear and crying like you had met Stephen Kings Pet Cemetery come to life (don’t read that book way too scary).

You love to walk around the house while holding our hands to keep you steady.  You still love reading your books (even if you do read upside down at times), throwing the ball in every direction but mine and plucking grass. You also have full on conversations with yourself and I’m dying to know what is going on in that little mind of yours. I have visions of grand thoughts but I’m guessing you’re just contemplating how to get the lid off the canister of puffs so that all the puffs may be yours.

I’ve also noticed that there is a marked difference in how you greet me and how your greet your dad.  We sent you away to your grandparents house for the night and when I went to pick you up, you looked at me like, oh great, she’s here. I’ll give her a half-hearted smile because it is expected of me.  When we got home to Dad there were squeals and grins and you launched yourself out of my arms to get into his. I know he is exciting and much more interesting than me but just remember who is in charge of the puffs distribution. It isn’t your Dad.



PS – I was only kidding about selling you to science for research.  We would never do that. The dentures however are another story.

PPS – normal people don’t use this many parentheticals.

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