More Annoyed than Amused

Don’t Mess with a Woman in Labor

Posted by parsingtime on February 20, 2011

I never told the story of my 27 hour labor here on the blog and even though I would like to have it recorded for my own benefit some things are better left alone. If I remember my delivery and the days after too vividly I’m pretty sure N will be an only child.

There are two things I did want to mention because it is so not in character for me to behave quite so rudely to people who a. I don’t know and b. have not done anything to warrant my treatment.

You always here about women screaming at their Husbands, while in labor, telling them never to touch them and this is their fault etc. I wasn’t ever mean towards Husband but two poor doctors definitely felt wrath. One was a poor resident, who had probably started at the hospital a few days earlier. She walked in with the regular doctor (not my doctor just the random one that checks on you in between your doctors visits) and my ob/gyn was in there already checking on me. They just opened the door and moved over to my vagina and started pointing out all the different things that were currently going on down there. They all finally looked at me and I looked at the new girl and said, “well if you’re going to get a good look at my vagina without buying me dinner we should probably be introduced, I’m Parsing.” It is not so much what I said but my tone (I was definitely annoyed). When the regular doctor came back in later I asked her to apologize for my rudeness and she said it was a good teaching moment for the girl. I guess it was also a good teaching moment for her to realize women in labor are sometimes a little on edge.

The second bout of rudeness was with the guy who came in to give me my epidural. I was having 5 to 7 minute long contractions (normals ones are a minute or so) and after 12 hours of labor I could not take one more second of the horrible awful pain, so when he knocked on the door, and asked if everyone was decent, I panted out through gritted teeth, “I’m sure you’ve seen a naked woman before. Just get in here and give me the damn drugs.” Clearly, he didn’t have to buy me dinner before seeing me naked. Probably not the best thing to say to the man who is going to stick a needle in your back but there you have it. Also, after I got the drugs, I did tell him that I loved him and he was my new best friend. I’m guessing he gets that a lot.

I had sort of forgotten about both these incidents until Husband reminded me about them. So there you go, there is nothing like 7 minute long contractions to make you say inappropriate things to complete strangers.


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