More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for October, 2010

Death by Tiredness

Posted by parsingtime on October 26, 2010

The kid has been getting up multiple times a night versus her usual one this week. It is slowly causing my brain to turn to mush. I thought she might be having a growth spurt but even if I make a bigger bottle she is still drinking the same amount…so now I’m wondering if she is teething. She is constantly chomping on her fingers.  Maybe she is just reminding me who is in charge.

Husband and I are leaving N in a few weeks for the first time. My parents and sister will be watching her and I know she will be completely fine but I just don’t feel ready. Oh well the first time is always hardest and my parents went to India for three weeks leaving me with friends when I was 7 months old and I don’t seem to have suffered any ill effects.

Having a kid has really messed with my issues with mortality. I don’t want to die because she won’t remember me. Of course if we do die she will be a millionaire due to our life insurance policies.  Fortunately, she isn’t old enough to Menendez us.

I’ll be back when things calm down and I don’t feel like injecting my veins with caffeine.


Posted in Baby | 1 Comment »

So Wrong

Posted by parsingtime on October 18, 2010

If you look up zip up pajamas on amazon you get this page.  Children’s zip up pj’s and men’s zip up underwear. I guess I needed to be more specific.

Husband and I went on our first date since having N last night. Sure we’ve been out to dinner many times with N, with other folks, with other folks and without N but not just us by ourselves.  It was lovely. We went to Dolce Vita and The Chocolate Bar. I had a Bellini (after 12 months of not drinking one bellini knocked me under the table), some calamari with mint and orange (not fried and delicious), pizza and yummy truffle chocolate ice cream. And surprisingly we didn’t talk about our kid very much at all. It was nice to know we still want to (and can) talk about all the things we talked about pre-baby.  Like I said it was lovely.

N is currently suffering from stranger anxiety and by strangers I mean people like my mom who she sees every week. It is a disaster.  She also seems to be teething if the chomping on her fingers is any indication and seems to going through a growth spurt which causes her to believe I am starving her to death. We’ve also found the first food that I’ve eaten that has disagreed with her. If you have a baby and are breastfeeding avoid veggie chili at all costs. Your kid’s gas and poops will cause you and your spouse to rock paper scissors whose turn it is to do diaper duty.

Other than that all is well in the land of Time.

Posted in Baby, Marriage | Leave a Comment »

Orange Vanilla Granola

Posted by parsingtime on October 13, 2010

I made homemade granola yesterday and it is delicious. Yes, I’m feeling very Martha Stewart because I made cereal. I discovered this recipe through my friend Kelly (who actually is the Martha Stewart of Texas without the whole jail issue)  who got it from here.

I don’t like cranberries or raisins or most dried fruit so I adapted it to my tastes. My recipe, which is of course pretty much what you see on the other website, with a few changes, is below.

5 cups rolled oats
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 Tablespoon cinnamon
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup water
1/2 cup oil (I used some sort of vegetable oil)
zest of one orange (next time I will use the zest of two oranges)
1 teaspoon and a bit of vanilla
1 cup slivered almonds
1 cup flax seeds

Preheat oven to 300°. In a pot combine salt, cinnamon, brown sugar, water, oil, orange zest, and vanilla. Heat until well blended. Pour over oats and nuts in large mixing bowl, stirring to combine. Spread on large greased cookie sheet. Bake for 40-45 minutes, stirring every 10-15 minutes. Cool.

It was really very easy to make the and the results are delicious. It is definitely the sort of thing you could bag up and give away to people.

I will say that the oil in this makes it a little higher in calories and fat than I would want (though the end product does not feel oily or heavy and it does have fewer calories than store-bought granola) at the moment so the next time I make this I might try using half the oil and some applesauce instead.  I generally try not to make big changes the first time I make a recipe so I know it works before messing with it. Will keep you posted.

Posted in Recipes | Leave a Comment »


Posted by parsingtime on October 12, 2010

Celebrating my Dad’s 60th here…

Makana on Discovery Bay, Jamaica, Caribbean

Makana on Discovery Bay, Jamaica, Caribbean

Makana on Discovery Bay, Jamaica, Caribbean

Makana on Discovery Bay, Jamaica, Caribbean

April can’t come soon enough.

Posted in Travel | Leave a Comment »

Privacy, Bob and Barbaloots

Posted by parsingtime on October 11, 2010

N has taken to becoming, ahem, quite obvious when she is doing her business. The look of concentration, the bearing down and grunting seem to give it away.  Sometimes this whole going number 2 process takes a few minutes and I feel like I need to look away and give her some privacy.

In the same vein I never do any exercise videos in front of Husband ( don’t want him to see me grunting and puffing, though really given what I made him look at in the aftermath of childbirth it’s amazing I have any shame around him) but N doesn’t seem to bother me. She even pretends to do leg exercises next to me.  She is quite the mimic even though all she can do is stick her legs in the air.

5lbs to go and all my pants fit and none of my shirts. I’ve started jogging with the Bob which is taking some getting used to but I’m happy to be out there trying! The Bob so far has been great, easy to steer, light weight and N naps like a champ while we are out. I’ve put in the car seat adapter for now so she is ultra safe and I’m able to see her while I jog. I usually take my iPod and as soon as N has dropped off to sleep I listen to tunes.

I wouldn’t advise giving N a kiss on the lips. She’ll try to get fresh with you and slip you some tongue. Which is of course my way of saying, N has decided to lick everything that comes her way.

I found a receipt from Target and canned black beans in my fridge. Clearly, someone needs a little more sleep than she is getting.

We have been receiving all sorts of new books this week and I got a full collection of Dr. Seuss. Dr. Seuss books are not ones I read as a child (most of the books we have are not ones I read as a child because I didn’t grow up here) so this is a whole new world of kids literature for me. Anyway, I read The Lorax and The Cat in the Hat to N yesterday. First, I did not know that Dr. Seuss had such an agenda. Big Corporations kill the Truffula Trees and poor Barbaloots until there is nothing left and the corporation repents. And that Cat in a Hat…first never let strangers (people or cats) in your home and you definitely need to tell you mother.  N got my side commentary while we were reading.  I’m enjoying these books more than Pat the Bunny but mostly because there is a little more story going on.

Posted in Baby | Leave a Comment »

Little Nutbrown Hare

Posted by parsingtime on October 7, 2010

Some guy wrote about his Hairy Nut’s and made millions of dollars. That’s my problem with this book.

N has received some new books including Llama Llama Red Pajama (which Husband is opposed to because he thinks Llama Llama is too needy on his Mama, much like the Owl Babies) and Guess How Much I Love You, which I knew would get a response out of Husband given that the characters names are Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare.

It’s a whole new world of books for us. So far I’m loving the poetry of Jack Prelutsky the best. It’s interesting for me and N seems listens intently when I read to her from it.

Posted in Baby | 3 Comments »

Baby Eating Disorders

Posted by parsingtime on October 6, 2010

The kid has finally learned how to open her fist and actually get fingers in her mouth. Today she stuck two fingers down her throat and caused herself to spit up.  All over me, the floor and the pajamas I had put on her not 2 minutes earlier.

Bulimia was not high on my list of things for N to learn. Hopefully this is a the stove is hot lesson.

Also, I fell down the stairs today…fortunately with a load of laundry and not N but still sucky.

Posted in Baby | Leave a Comment »

Woody vs. Buzz

Posted by parsingtime on October 5, 2010

We were out with some neighbors tonight and one of the kids was playing with a Buzz Lightyear toy.

Seeing that kid with that Buzz Lightyear made me really hopeful we have a boy next.

Well that’s up to you.

I know but Buzz is awesome.

N might like Buzz Lightyear, you never know.

Yeah maybe. She’ll probably like Woody. All girls like Woody. I hate Woody. He can’t make a damned decision to save his life. I hate the fact that she’ll like Woody. And! If she were to marry someone like that, she would be cut off for sure.

Posted in Conversations | 1 Comment »

Last Word

Posted by parsingtime on October 4, 2010

It’s hard to believe that if I were going back to a regular job (i.e. not working from home) my maternity leave would be over this week. I’m definitely not feeling ready to put N in day care and feel fortunate that it isn’t a necessity.  At the same time if I did have a job I was super passionate about I wonder if I would be excited to get back to it and seeing people I enjoyed working with. You work with the cards you are dealt I suppose.

I’m currently wondering how I’m going to teach my child not to pick her nose when I’m constantly trying to get boogers out of her nose with my fingers. I really need to stop but I just can’t help myself.

Elena Kagan has recused herself from 25 of the 51 cases being heard by the Supreme Court this session. GREAT. I really am not thrilled with her as Obama’s pick for Justice.

I read this last night in The Week: A Gay Soldiers Plea. Their Last Word pieces are generally quite good…they range from discussions of what famous people from history ate to dog anthropology. It can be quite random at times but it always makes me think of a subject in a different way. I thought this one had an interesting perspective.

Posted in Random | Leave a Comment »

Month Three

Posted by parsingtime on October 3, 2010

Dear N,

You are three months old today! That equals 90 days, which might seem like a lot to a person who can’t count but I have condiments in my fridge that are older than you so it isn’t really that old at all.

This month you have gotten yourself on a sleep schedule (without any help from me except that I give you a bath around the same time every day). And oh it is a glorious thing to behold. You go to sleep sometime between 6 and 7:30 and usually wake only once for a feed and then go right back to sleep. You generally don’t cry and and seem to know that after the bath and food routine it is time to sleep.  Do you know how good six consecutive hours of sleep feel after not sleeping more than three to four hours for a couple of months? It’s wonderful and makes me want to sing at the top of my lungs. Except, I won’t because it might wake you up.

You definitely associate your crib with nighttime sleep and happily go to sleep when I put you there and it is dark out but holy mother of god I better not try to make you nap in that crib. The crib of happy dreams of ceiling fans at night is the crib of horrors and has a mattress full of nails during the day.  Or so it would seem from your screams.  I feel a little bad about your going to bed so early because that means your dad doesn’t really get to see you at night but you get to hang out with him in the morning and are full of smiles when you see him.

Speaking of screams, you learned how to legitimately cry this month. No more cute newborn mewling, your two month shots hardened you from a cute sweet newborn to an almost three month old who knows what it’s like to live on the mean streets of Houston.  Scarred for life.  Now I get full on screams, tears and sad pathetic faces. One the other hand you also giggled for the first time this past month and I have no shame when it comes to doing ridiculous things to make you laugh.

You need to stop with the sad pathetic faces. You have nothing to be sad about.  I want your life. In fact everyone who reads this blog wants your life. Food is provided at regular intervals. You get bathed and massaged every night. Your clothes are always fresh. Someone else wipes your butt. You get entertained by all sorts of gadgets, books and people.   It’s like being at a five-star hotel without the room service bill.

Things you have learned this past month? You coo and babble. You have discovered your hands and like to play with them constantly when you are awake. You hold your ear or your hair when you eat. You are practicing your facial expressions, you will make a sad face and then smile right after, like you have accomplished the greatest thing ever.  And really you have because that sad face totally gets your grandfather every time.  You give him that face and he asks if he can get you some candy or ice cream. Even though you don’t eat candy or ice cream.

Before you were born I promised myself I would be rational about you. I wouldn’t tell everyone how cute you are or how your giggle is such a sweet sound, especially if you weren’t cute or had a voice like Fran Drescher.  I’ve already broken that promise. I will admit that some of your diapers have nearly made my nose jump off my face and run for a bomb shelter. I guess I can be impartial about some things.

Every morning when I come to get you, you grin so big it must hurt your cheeks.  Never in my life has anyone been so consistently happy to see me before I’ve brushed my teeth. You also look at me with such adoration. I know it’s just because I provide the food and off-key songs but it is still pretty amazing to me.

I hope that years from now you still smile so big it hurts when you see me after we’ve been away from each other for a while (realizing that a while will probably be longer than 10 hours). I know I will.

It’s been 90 days and while I haven’t forgotten what life was like before you (more sleep! errands took half the time!) watching someone else learn how to laugh and sit up has never been so fascinating.



Posted in Baby | Leave a Comment »