Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Back Track and Life Insurance

Posted by parsingtime on June 25, 2010

You know I think your boobs look different.

Different, how?

I don’t know. Lower or something.

Are you saying that they are sagging?

Uh…uh, no.  I think it’s probably just because your stomach is higher or something.

You just realized you said something wrong and now you are trying to back track.

Yes. Exactly.

***

Husband explaining all the life insurance precautions he has taken as we expand our family.

So you’ll be fine and can send the kid to Princeton. And then you can find someone else to marry.

Well that’s good. I guess.

Later that evening as I rub useless cream over my expanded beer gut.

I really hope you don’t die.

What?

I really hope you don’t die, because no one is going to marry me with these stretch marks.

That guy Hareth would marry you.

No he wouldn’t. He likes blonds.

Good point. You have no hope.*

*Husband didn’t actually say I had no hope. I added that in my mind.

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