More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for May, 2010


Posted by parsingtime on May 29, 2010

Husband upped the ice cream ante and came home with flowers and dinner reservations at Marks. We had a lovely dinner and yummy dessert.

Sometimes he really does surprise me.


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One-Dimensional and Uninteresting

Posted by parsingtime on May 28, 2010

Can I write about anything other than my almost kid? No, no I can’t. I’ve become completely one-dimensional.  And I recognize how boring this is for the majority of you.

The kid gets hiccups pretty much every day.  Her hiccups are almost as annoying as me getting the hiccups (rhythmic belly movements are freaky feeling and looking) though it is good to know that her head is down.   I do wonder at all the blood that must be pooled in her head. Can’t feel good.

I’ve gained 27lbs so far. All in my stomach as far as I can tell. Since I already have the stretch marks I’m really regretting not having any ice cream or secret chocolate at my house.  I sort of feel like I can just say screw it at this point and eat the things I really love. Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t allow my feelings to win. So I ate cherries instead of chocolate. Perhaps Husband will take me out for ice cream this weekend (how’s that for a completely unsubtle hint).

There is a new couch in my spotlessly clean house. I’m sitting on the old couch. I’m not sure about the new couch…fortunately, it is returnable should I change my mind.

I’ve been thinking about the hierarchy here in the Time family and forever it has just been Husband and I. Theoretically, we get to be each others Number 1. I don’t have kids so I don’t know how this all works but I know that Baby Time will take up the majority of our time and energy. Kids in general do that. But I do wonder if I will love them equally or love one more than the other. I’m kind of a firm believer in loving your spouse more than or at least equally to your kids. Because at the end of the day your kids are with you temporarily (they go off to college, get married and have adult lives completely separate from yours) and your spouse is forever (so to speak, I know that doesn’t work out for at least 50% of people) and a happy marriage is surely better for your kids than not. I’ll have to make a note to revisit this topic in a few months.

I have this irrational fear that my water will break while I’m laying in our bed. So I have gotten some water proof pads to put under the sheets. The bed will remain free of my bodily fluids.

Posted in Pregnancy | 4 Comments »

Caring for Wood Floors

Posted by parsingtime on May 27, 2010

I emailed the former owners of our house to ask how they take care of the floors and his response was:

  1. First, I used a dust mop and would spray it with pledge clean and dust. I would then set that aside to dry
  2. Then I would get a broom and sweep all the rooms up and down and run the broom along the base boards.
  3. They I would get the dust mop and sweep very thoroughly.  I would do this everyday
  4. Once a week I would mop with a floor product called Bona. It comes with a swiffer type mop and is great on floors.

Then he went on to say he misses the house like a person and to feel free to ask any questions. We are having lunch next week . I’m to be on the look out for a mid thirties gay man with a dark sense of humor and a big nose for him.

Can I just tell you I laughed when he told me he swept/dust mopped every day.   Then he made the person comment but I’m about to have  a real person who isn’t going to leave time or energy for every day sweeping. Hell, I don’t have energy to do that now.  I’d like to just say god bless my mom for sending her housekeeper to my house today ahead of an in-laws visit.

A random aside that has nothing to do with floors to say I found my portable mirror and have reexamined the stretch marks (I will admit to making Random examine them too when she was in Houston. She didn’t know when she signed up for the job but being my best friend means examining weird crap on my body against your will) and they now look like a map of Africa with all the countries and rivers delineated inside (that’s a slight exaggeration but it does sort of look like the Nile river delta. I’m of course horrified but am wondering if I can use my forevermore changed body to convince Husband that I get to name our child.  I’m betting it won’t work but it won’t stop me from trying.

Can you tell that I’m concerned about this name situation?

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Various Bits and Bobs

Posted by parsingtime on May 26, 2010

No preeclampsia! Yay! My pee was clearly stellar.

Really wishing Husband and I didn’t have family staying with us this weekend. He has been traveling quite a bit for the last month and we have had people over/showers/things going on every weekend for ages and I’m ready for some alone time. I’ve only got a few more weeks where alone time means just the two of us.

I’m starting to feel the Houston heat in every pore in my body. It is less than pleasant.

Can I tell you how much I’ve been enjoying The Week? It is a great magazine for getting the news highlights as well as a bit of arts/life and entertainment news.  They take what they deem to be the best articles from all the various news outlets, including Newsweek, The Economist, Op-Eds from various papers etc. and publish them in one place.  It has been great when I need something lighter than The Economist.

Why is it the older I get the less rational my parents seem to be?

I’ve figured out the crux of the naming issue between Husband and I. He looks at the meaning and picks names where he likes the meaning. This results in names like Chandani, Hemani, Parvati and Indira. I pick names that I think are easy to pronounce and sound nice with our last name, regardless of meaning.  I officially have no hope that this kid will have a name. Ever. Random called last night while I was in the middle of telling Husband why Chandani is a terrible name. I may have to settle for a name I don’t love but I’m not giving her a name I absolutely hate.

Our next door neighbor works on an oil rig, different ones at different times for different companies. He does something specialized with computers. Anyway, he thinks BP is one of the safest in the industry and just had a string of bad luck.  It’s always amazing to me how different the same piece of information can sound depending on who is telling the story.

Posted in Random | 2 Comments »

34 Weeks

Posted by parsingtime on May 25, 2010

Watching Husband and I practice our breathing in preparation for labor is like watching a comedy of errors.

We have 37 days to go (plus or minus two weeks, I guess)  and we have no name (still), we need a car seat, crib mattress and I need to stop looking at the newborn outfits we received because every time I do I get freaked out that anyone in any sort of authority position would willing let me go home with something that small. Logically I know we will be fine, despite the fact that I haven’t changed a diaper in 14 years. Hormonally, I feel overwhelmed.

I know, I know you have read this in 468 other blog posts and I sound like a broken record but I write what I feel and right now I’m wondering if I should have a long sleeve, long pant going home outfit or short sleeves. I mean babies can’t regulate their temperature very well but it is Houston in the summer.  There is so much I don’t know.

We went on our hospital tour this weekend and saw a real live newly born baby, which made things a whole lot more real.  It also made me realize that hospitals, no matter how cheery or happy you are to have your baby etc, are kind of depressing and full of sick people. I don’t think I’ve ever stayed the night in the hospital before. The emergency room and I however, are intimately acquainted.

Regarding the name situation. Husband finally took the Indian baby girl name book with him on his latest business trip and has gone through L so far. He suggested about 8 names to me last night and I didn’t like any of them.  I’ve come to the conclusion that we are both going to have to settle. We just don’t like each others name options. I hate that I’m going to have to settle on something we both think is just okay instead of being something we love.

Anyway, T-40 days.

Posted in Pregnancy | 2 Comments »

Pee in my Fridge

Posted by parsingtime on May 24, 2010

As if pregnancy wasn’t bad enough with the aches and pains, lack of sleeping, small alien kicking your kidneys etc. I have had the added joy of spending 24 hours collecting my pee. Oh yes, there is a jug of urine in my fridge. It is in a big orange container that sort of makes it look like orange juice but it isn’t.

Don’t worry it is very clean because if it wasn’t it wouldn’t be in my fridge. Instead, I get to pee in the hat. Yes, it is called the hat and it fits onto your toilet seat. Don’t put it on your head because you will get an unpleasant surprise. Especially since you aren’t allowed to wash it out between uses.

At this point, I fully expect that most of you have left the blogging room.  I will tell you it is fascinating to know how many ounces you pee every time you go. Don’t ask me why I find it fascinating but it is. Also, the hat and pee collection container have made me realize how dearly I hope to breastfeed because getting up in the middle of the night, peeing in the hat and then taking the hat down to the fridge for relocation was really quite annoying.  I can only imagine how much worse it will be when someone is crying waiting for a bottle to be warmed up.

They will hopefully test this stuff today and find that there is nothing wrong with me  — though what they are checking for is preeclampsia which I chose not to look up until 10 minutes ago and um, yes, let’s hope I don’t have that. My blood pressure etc are all normal so hopefully it is nothing.

I’m trying to take it a bit more easy but it’s hard when you have a nursery to organize,  a house to decorate, a job and the need to finish it all RIGHT. NOW.

Posted in Pregnancy | 3 Comments »


Posted by parsingtime on May 18, 2010

An entire bottle of high efficiency tide somehow managed to open itself up, fall to the ground and spill everywhere.

You know the next time we are doing a big clean up like this it will probably be projectile poop or vomit or something.

Yeah, but at least that is organic and chemical free.

And with that comment I’m officially making Husband the projectile poop cleaner-upper.
Poor Husband had to get down and clean everything up since when I get down I can’t usually get back up. I feel like I should mention that while I haven’t had any weird cravings that require Husband to go out in the middle of the night, he has been a rock star throughout this pregnancy. He doesn’t let me do anything that would cause me to come into contact with chemicals, he rubs my feet all the time (though I should mention he did that pre-pregnancy too), he still seems to think I’m attractive (someone needs an eye exam), he takes my irrational mood swings in stride, he lets me sleep with the fan on high and the AC blasting even though he has to wear a parka to bed and many other things too numerous to name.

In other words he is a good Husband.

I on the other hand have been in crazed hormonal mode and am cranky about our lack of furniture, lack of name and the death of my cilantro plant (to be fair to myself I do believe the cranky comes from not being able to sleep well — this of course does not bode well for when the baby is actually here)…I mean a few days ago I went to go see a dog my mom was dog sitting because I thought she might be lonely all day by herself. The dog. Who normally spends all day by herself.  She was cute though and I wanted to bring her home. A dog! It was like a eureka moment…we should have gotten a dog.

I hope I come back. I may not physically be the same but I need the old semi-rational, less emotional Parsing to come back.

Posted in Conversations, Pregnancy | 2 Comments »

Embarrassment of Riches

Posted by parsingtime on May 17, 2010

Husband has used his veto power to nix Neeva off our list completely.  His alternative suggestion? Lakshmi. Gag me.

This weekend I got to have physical proof of what thoughtful, creative and lovely friends/family I have.  Random flew into from NY, Emilia drove down from the Piney Woods and they along with my sister and Kelly Belly threw me the most lovely baby shower.  Kelly Belly made ridiculously delicious homemade cupcakes that looked like something out of Martha Stewart and Emilia made matching cookies that I couldn’t get Husband to stop stuffing in his mouth.

I had dinner with all my best girlfriends and my fears about having a child were clarified (funny how your girlfriends know what you mean even when you don’t describe it well).  My fears boil down to what a commitment it is to have a baby. Sure you make a huge commitment to your spouse but they come fully formed, somewhat educated, rational and are usually someone you’ve known for a while so even if you don’t know how crazy their long showers are going to make you after marriage you know them well enough that it isn’t a deal breaker.

Babies rely completely on you to make the best decisions about their nutrition, physical care, education etc.  And there is no turning back. It is a huge commitment even if 16 year olds don’t realize it.

Overall a lovely weekend filled with high school memories, catching up with old friends, eating good food, family friends who flew in from all over (the woman who was my first baby sitter in Saudi Arabia came),  and definitely showered me with a mountain of gifts for Baby Time.  She hasn’t even been born and she already dresses better than me.  I’ve also received lovely gifts from the Plano Crew and friends from all walks of Husband and I’s lives that I would certainly not expect things from. We definitely feel loved!

Not to get all sentimental on you but weekends like this make you realize how lucky you are to have met the people in your life. The people who aren’t related to you but choose to care about you, be involved and be interested in the things going on in your life no matter how long it has been since they have seen you last.

Posted in Family & Friends | 1 Comment »

A Vote More Important than Bush v. Gore

Posted by parsingtime on May 13, 2010

Husband and I have a slight issue. I have found a name that I really really like. He has been lukewarm on it for the last two weeks.  I told him that I mentioned the name to a friend and that she really liked it and he said that wasn’t a good test of whether it was a good name or not. You have to give people several choices and see what they pick.

So I need you people to take a poll and I need you to pick the name I like, except I won’t be able to tell you what that is because that would negate the results. But as you saw a few blog posts ago even if you pick a name I think is sucky I won’t be naming my kid that. So please vote. The fate of the name I like is in your hands.

Posted in Pregnancy | 3 Comments »

Utterly Horrified

Posted by parsingtime on May 11, 2010

So tonight while getting out of the shower I noticed that I had what looked like a couple of red bug bites on the underside of my stomach. So I took out a portable mirror to take a closer look. What I found was so horrific that I let out a moan that had Husband entering the bathroom at a dead run thinking I had stabbed myself or my water had broken or something.

The horrifying discovery? Those red bug bites were the beginning of stretch marks. Though perhaps stretch marks have no beginning. They are probably just stretch marks.

For the last eight months I’ve eaten healthy and exercised regularly. I haven’t eaten any of the sour cream cake donuts or ice cream that I’ve been craving (well not in any significant quantity, 3 donuts in 8 months is pretty good). I instead assuage myself with edamame and watermelon. I even pack my purse with dry roasted edamame, almonds and granola bars so that when I’m out and hungry I don’t have to stop at places that sell ice cream and donuts.

For the last eight months I have also religiously slathered myself with either Palmers Cocoa Butter, body butter or vaseline every morning and every night. Every morning and every night for eight months people. I will roll my body out of bed and go slather cream on if I’ve forgotten.

Admittedly, eating well benefits my unborn fetus and the cream was for my mental benefit given that I know you can’t prevent stretch marks. But I thought that a slow and steady weight gain plus religious moisturizing would keep me from suffering from stretch marks.

Not so. I recognize that all of this must seem very vain, especially for those of you mothers out there. My body is performing a miraculous function and all that crap. And truly I am amazed when I see a hand print pop out of my belly, but let’s be honest women have been having kids for millenia  so I’m not really that special.

I think I’m utterly horrified and upset about the stretch marks because it means that no matter what I do in terms of exercise and diet and getting my body back into jeans that look impossibly tiny at the moment, my body will never be the same. I will never look the same.

Life is never going to be the same.  I’m not sure I’m ready for that.  And I only have eight weeks to get ready.

Husband tells me he will still love me even with stretch marks and he has taken away my mirror (he doesn’t think I should be examining things) but I’m having a hard time believing him.

I’m a little sad. Okay, a lot.

Posted in MOG, Pregnancy | 1 Comment »