Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for December, 2009

Revocation

Posted by parsingtime on December 29, 2009

I failed to mention that the speeding ticket I got was for 17 over. Doing 67 in a 50.  In NC if you get a speeding ticket for 15 miles or more over the speed limit they revoke your license.

REVOKE YOUR LICENSE.

2009 can’t resist stabbing me a few more times.  It’s not going to be happy until I’ve drowned in a pool of my own blood.  Fine, give me the knife. I’ll do it myself.

Advertisements

Posted in MOG | Leave a Comment »

Holiday Cheer

Posted by parsingtime on December 24, 2009

Reason 492 why my family is awesome? We all know how to laugh until our stomachs beg for mercy and we start to cry. Though in this particular instance Husband, my sister and I were the ones laughing like hyenas and my mom (who has selective hearing) was all, “what’s so funny?”

First day home has been great. I haven’t laughed this hard or this often in ages.

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope your holidays are full of silly laughter. It’s the best kind.

Posted in Family & Friends | Leave a Comment »

Knifed

Posted by parsingtime on December 22, 2009

2009 continues to twist the knife it has stuck in my back….I got a speeding ticket. In Georgia. At 7:30 in the morning. While going the same speed as 30 other cars. In a construction zone.

It was bound to happen right? No one gets stopped three times in less than three months and doesn’t get a ticket. If only I had been drinking, then at least the cop would have had some legitimate reason to give me a ticket.

We are in Texas now. And my parents managed to drive me crazy within the first 20 minutes I was home over how to tell a certain story. My mom insisted my dad was getting the facts wrong and he was insisting he was right. And the most hilarious thing about the whole story? I had no idea who they were talking about despite the 10 minute explanation of who these people in the story were and how they are related to us.

Ah, the holidays. Despite the rough start (don’t even get me started on the movers that showed up three hours late and the one mover with what sounded like tuberculosis and whooping cough all wrapped up in one) we are here and we can relax and sleep and do nothing more strenuous than eat for the next few days.

Posted in MOG | 1 Comment »

The Crankiness is Back

Posted by parsingtime on December 18, 2009

Last night I caught Husband packing lots of magazines in a box. They are relevant to his new job. He is going to read them.

I’ll give you three guesses as to how I feel about the magazines.

You’ll only need one.

Posted in MOG | 3 Comments »

Christmas Came Early

Posted by parsingtime on December 17, 2009

I lied. I am no longer packing. Yesterday, the moving company guy came by to drop off some boxes and on a whim Husband asked how much it would be to pack us up. Since we had already bought boxes and packing materials off Craigslist (and packed up about 1/3 of our stuff already) Mike kindly told Husband it was $400 bucks and that’s when I came out of my cave and said, in the name of all that is holy and right in the world, YES. YES. YES.

Husband knowing that so far his two boxes did not hold a candle to my twelve realized this was a way to stop my whining about his lack of help. And come on, four hundred dollars? When we asked why the hell Mike didn’t sell us on the full move when he came by the first time (we assumed a full pack was quite expensive) he said that to some people the extra $500-$1000 is much more than they are willing to pay.

$400 for your wife’s sanity and her not becoming cranky for every hour you spend behind your computer instead of helping her pack? Worth every penny.

Husband is super pleased he gets to spend the next four days behind the computer. He is also thrilled to keep his track record of never having done any packing at 100% (he said this, I’m not even exaggerating).  I can’t even be upset about it because I’m not packing either, just cleaning up and throwing away.

Hallelujah!

Posted in Marriage | 1 Comment »

Leaving Charlotte

Posted by parsingtime on December 16, 2009

Posting shall be light as we are packing, packing, packing.

We did enjoy one last meal with our favorite friends in Charlotte last night. They are the owners of this dog and they have another one that Husband and I love even more named Kujo.  We went out to Soul which is easily one of our favorite restaurants in Charlotte. If you came to visit we would go there.  It is a tapas place where you don’t leave hungry and your wallet has not been lightened in a painful ways. The food is great — the lamp lollipops are fantastic in case you ever go — and the water comes with a cucumber!

Anyway, great dinner with really great friends and the evening ended with crepes from the Crepe Cellar for dessert and coffee.  K&T we are going to miss you.

Posted in Queen City | Leave a Comment »

The End of My First Car

Posted by parsingtime on December 15, 2009

The people of Craigslist do not deserve to buy my lovely Sentra. Half of them can’t spell (I’m am enquiring about…) and half of them are crazy.

Like one guy emailed and asked if we would take $1600. Husband emailed back and said he had two people coming to look at the car and if they didn’t offer something better then maybe. The first person who came to visit offered $1700 so Husband emailed the dude back and said he got a higher offer and was the guy still interested. The guy writes back to tell Husband that if he got an offer of $1700 he should have taken it and that he doesn’t like the way Husband does business and he is going to take his money elsewhere.

Husband is not a dealer of used cars so taking your money elsewhere does not hurt him. Plus why is it any of the dude’s business how much we sell the car for?

One lady emailed and said she would buy the car if Husband went to two specific insurance websites and told her how much the insurance would be for the car.

The car ended up selling yesterday for $50 under the asking price (asking price was Kelly Blue Book) which is pretty hilarious since I introduced my car to a lamp-post back in March and the dent is still there. A lovely Grandpa bought it for his daughter who is in AP classes and she needs a car more than he needs jet ski’s. And his wife had a doctor’s appointment yesterday so they had to have sandwiches for lunch. And if we could meet him by the Cut Rite, which used to be Eckerds but got bought out (you mean Rite Aid), oh yes, Rite Aid not Cut Rite. And do you think it will be okay to get the title notarized if we are at a different bank than my normal bank. I sure hope so because I don’t normally go to this bank I go to the one on Smith Road and…the man does not stop to take a breath. Every conversation with him on the phone takes at least 20 minutes and showing him the car took over an hour (he brought a flashlight and looked under the car!), which is amazing because he is a complete stranger.

And so the Sentra after 12 years and six months will no longer be my car. Lots of stuff happened in that car…I drove to lots of High School football games and road tripped to Atlanta in that car. Random and I drove home from college in that car while singing to oldies. Emilia would look at me horrified as I drove down the highway not realizing I was doing 85 mph. I drove to my first post law school job in that car. I drove that car to my wedding.  I made my first expensive purchase when I bought a CD player for that car (the receipt was still in the glove box $187).

Things Husband also found in the glove box? A tire gauge, a swiss army knife, a tampon and a compass. These are the things I considered necessary for car survival at some point.

Bye, Sentra. It’s been a good ride.

Posted in Me, What the...? | 4 Comments »

Move Car Gifts

Posted by parsingtime on December 14, 2009

I have nothing to say that doesn’t involve the phrase “oh my god we are trying to move halfway across the country before Christmas and we made the decision to move on Saturday.”

I’ve had horrible dreams about house hunting. I’ve been feeling sick so packing these last two days has been more like, pack a box and then sit on the couch with some OJ for an hour.

And from all of this you can gather that Husband has taken a new job! He had two job offers. One offered a full corporate move. The other offered money for a move but not the full pack job.  Guess which one he decided to take? There a few things I would like to experience some time in my life, one is flying internationally business class and another is having someone else pack up my crap.

Also we are selling my beloved car. The one and only car I’ve ever owned. Thirteen years I’ve owned this car. I drove it out of the dealership with eleven miles on it. It now has 139,700. Husband hates my car and is not so secretly glad to get rid of it but I challenge him to find another thirteen year old car that has cost less in maintenance than my little Sentra.

If anyone knows what I should get for my in-laws for Christmas please let me know. I’m stumped. In the past few years I’ve gotten them high thread count sheets, nice towels (they don’t use), an expensive set of pots (after my MIL admired mine). I realize these are all a little generic (I buy my Dad a generic gift each year — subscription to the Economist but I know that he likes it) but I don’t know anything at all about the things that they like (except for their son, they really really like their son) and Husband is no help in this department.  I try to buy them things that are joint gifts (because thinking of two things it way too complicated) and that they wouldn’t buy for themselves. Help!

Posted in MOG | 4 Comments »

Apples Now Make Me Homicidal

Posted by parsingtime on December 8, 2009

So I’m sitting watching the Food Network and Husband asks if we have any bananas. We don’t. But there is an apple. I see him looking at the apple and I know this man. He is thinking, I don’t want the whole apple. I don’t want to cut it myself. Apples seem like a lot more effort than just peeling a banana.

I know these things because this is the same man who has instituted a new family rule, that whenever I’m eating a clementine I should just assume he wants one too and peel an extra for him.

So I offer to share the apple and tell him to bring it over with a knife and I’ll cut it.  Oh and don’t forget to wash it. Literally five minutes later I look up from watching the Neely’s make BBQ pot stickers and he is still at the sink. Washing the same apple.  Under hot water.

His excuse? He started thinking about something else and the hot water felt good.

He then comes over and watches for a few minutes with me and asks if people like the Neely’s. I tell him I think so.  And he says we could get a cooking show because we are Indian and they don’t have any Indian’s on the Food Network. I tell him I’m pretty sure you have to have cooking skills to get a cooking show.  He says he would learn if he was getting paid well.

Then when the apple is eaten he goes over to the sink and asks if he should put the dish in the dishwasher or just rinse it off.  I wonder aloud how a person reaches the age of 29 without knowing that dirty dishes get washed and look around for where my trusty umbrella is because the man who can’t cut an apple wants a cooking show and my cranky ice cream deprived heart can’t take it anymore.

Please, please someone find him a job. Please.

Posted in Husband | 2 Comments »

No Names People

Posted by parsingtime on December 7, 2009

People, if you continue to make comments using Husband’s real name he is going to make me shut down the blog and then you won’t get to read about how he has been making me homicidal.

I write freely about a lot of things that Husband would certainly would not want someone googling his name to read about, which I completely understand.  He also lets me write stories about him and us that are silly and crazy so being anonymous is the one thing I can give him that makes it okay.

So please, please do not use our real names.

Posted in Random | 1 Comment »