Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Unarmed and Dangerous

Posted by parsingtime on November 6, 2009

In the last week or so I’ve somehow morphed from my regular self into an 80-year-old woman who carries a cane and hits people who are rude.  It is unclear if this is ongoing PMS or because there was a full moon last week or if I have just become stark raving mad.

I already told you about my airport pet peeve but what I didn’t tell you was that I gave a 40-year-old lady who was carrying on some serious Patagonia luggage (the kind of packs which look so hardcore that they make me think you have been camping in Patagonia and had to carry out your own dirty toilet tissue because you believe in leaving no trace behind) an evil look for having her two back packs on two separate seats. And after the stare down and I asked if anyone was sitting in those seats and made her move her damn backpack.  That backpack had probably just come from hiking Torres del Paine. It didn’t need the comfort of the seat.  What I didn’t do was kick her in the shins. But I did think about it.

Then yesterday, I was waiting for a parking spot at Trader Joe’s (which btw, I hope we don’t move somewhere without a Trader Joe’s. That would make me very sad. Where else would I get clementines this early in the season?) with my blinker on waiting for a lady with an empty shopping cart to pass in front of me.  She then proceeded to put her empty shopping cart in the middle of the space I was waiting for and then strolled back to her car.  The shopping cart rack was two spaces over. I was infuriated. Beyond what is normal, which is why I believe I’ve become a curmudgeonly old lady.  So I opened my window, looked over her and in a tone of voice that was completely mild but contained all the wrath I could muster, I told her that she was an extremely rude person. She looked shocked and then turned to look back at her cart and then went on to her car.

I really hate to admit this, but I don’t even feel bad. Not one little bit.  I was rude to a complete stranger (who will probably be the person who interviews me for my next job), Emily Post certainly would not approve and a day later all I can think is she was rude. She saw me waiting for that spot. There weren’t any other spots. If I had a cane I might have hit her car. But that might constitute battery to her property and with all my recent police issues I really don’t need to be arrested so I probably wouldn’t have done that.

But I would have thought about it.

In my defense I had just come from representing a friend in traffic court.  Traffic court in Gastonia County would be put anyone in a foul mood.

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One Response to “Unarmed and Dangerous”

  1. tiembo said

    you should go on a bike ride with us in downtown chicago. plenty of rude cabbies and clueless pedestrians are given well-deserved middle fingers and yelling.

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