Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for November, 2009

Thanksgiving

Posted by parsingtime on November 30, 2009

This past weekend I cooked my first Turkey (it was a breast, but it still counts) and I shushed a woman at the movie theater. First off this is why the movie theater sucks…because it is full of stupid people. Usually I can handle the stupid people especially when they are teenage boys, but when a 40 to 50 year old woman spends the entire movie saying lines before the actor says them, laughing before anything funny has happened or loudly whispering that “this is a bad guy, don’t trust him” at the movie screen I have to wonder if she has mental health issues or is just annoyingly stupid.  Turns out she was just really excited about seeing this movie again and it turns out I don’t have patience for people ruining the movie I’ve paid money to see. So I told her to be quiet. I shushed her. Loudly. And if I had my trusty umbrella with me I might have threateningly beaten it in the empty chair between us.

Husband has become very solicitous these last few weeks as I’ve clearly gone off the deep end.

I also realized, as I realize every Thanksgiving, that there is nothing I want that is worth getting up at 5am to buy.  I’m frugal by nature but this is one instance when I will pay the extra $20 so that I don’t have to deal with the crowds. Given that I’m liable to beat them this is a smart move on my part.

Anyway, despite movie-gate 2009,  Husband and I had a very nice Thanksgiving weekend filled with movies (at home), naps and good food. Hope you guys did too.

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My Mom

Posted by parsingtime on November 25, 2009

Proof that my Indian mom is cooler than yours.

She was into big sunglasses way before all those celebrity socialites.

She also had the foresight to know in the mid 1980’s that one day she would live in the great state of Texas and that my dad would watch a lot of Cowboy’s football.  Disturbingly, I do believe that this shirt is still somewhere in her closet, but that’s because she throws nothing away.   She also still this slim, today, over 25 years later. And is the only mom I know that can pull off tights and a short skirt and still make it look like business attire.

Husband has told me that he checked out my mom before committing to me, he wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to be hideous in old age. Hideous or not, he is stuck with me.

Posted in Bad Fashion | 1 Comment »

Protocol

Posted by parsingtime on November 24, 2009

What is the protocol on forgiving your spouse when in the middle of the night you ask for a sip of water (said spouse, always has water) and he says he doesn’t have any. So you get up go to the fridge and get some. At 4am this journey is arduous.  Then in the morning you hear your spouse slurping down water, open one eye and see that it is from the glass on his side of the bed and not the 4am water you picked up.

The only thing Husband has going in his defense is he occasionally talks in his sleep and has no recollection of it (so fun) so perhaps he thought he didn’t have water. I’m going to assume that’s what happened.

Edit: He has no recollection of the water incident. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

Posted in Random | 1 Comment »

There’s a Million Things to be

Posted by parsingtime on November 23, 2009

I hate to say it but I sleep like a log when Husband isn’t here. The temperature in the bed is perfect.  Always a cold spot if you need one.  Of course he takes out the trash and does the night-time check for locked doors and windows so he does add value. I’ll keep him.

He is off in Austin for an interview today.  He got three job offers on Friday. One in Dallas, Houston and San Antonio. That ten percent unemployment business doesn’t seem to be effecting him.  My guess is we will end up in San Antonio but the Houston offer is compelling as well. We shall see.

Things that annoy me this week? Radio stations that play Christmas music all day every day starting in November. Husband singing the T-Mobile Cat Steven’s If you Want to Sing Out song, constantly. Like ALL. THE. TIME.

We are also not going home for Thanksgiving.  It is always the right decision when we make it but it always sucks when we aren’t flying home and spending time with family. It’s my favorite holiday and we tend to always spend it with my family because they do the whole turkey thing and always have a big get together. Combine all that with the fact that my sister is actually coming to Thanksgiving this year and Random is showing up for part of the weekend and I’m wishing we were going to be in Houston.

This had no clear subject, beginning or end so I will end it by asking: does anyone else think Lady Gaga looks better with the crazy makeup and masks?

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I Told You So

Posted by parsingtime on November 19, 2009

I like to tell Husband that I know him better than he knows himself. He doesn’t like it when I say that but sometimes the truth hurts.

For weeks Husband has been talking about going to interview at company X. He has told me several times he can work anywhere, and if it gets us back to Austin and they pay a lot, then why not.  Every time this topic of conversation has come up I’ve given a little head shake and told him I don’t think it is a good idea.  He then asks me why I don’t want to move to Austin, the greatest city in Texas, and why I don’t like money.

I like money and Austin but what I don’t like is living with a Husband who doesn’t like his job. And Husband would not like his job working for company X.  It’s too big. He wouldn’t have enough of an impact. You don’t go from what Husband has been doing for the past year to working for a huge company with a slew of travel people to organize your hotel and plane tickets.

So Husband had an interview a week ago with a smaller company in a less interesting city and next week he is flying to Austin for an interview with company X.  And wouldn’t you know last night after travel arrangements were being made he looked at me and said, “I don’t want to work at X. This job is not nearly as cool as Small Company.”

I rolled my eyes and said he had committed to the interview and it was too late to back out.  I might have also brought up every conversation we’ve had about this company over the last month and reminded him of my position. Bringing up every conversation was so much more satisfying than an I told you so.

His life would be so much easier if he just listened to me once in a while.

Posted in Husband | 2 Comments »

Cabbage Patch Dolls

Posted by parsingtime on November 18, 2009

This one is for Emilia. She admitted to wearing Care Bear t-shirts so I have to post a humiliating photo of me.

Here we have me wearing some sort of Cabbage Patch dolls t-shirt with puff sleeves. That alone would be bad enough but I one up the terrible shirt by pairing it with shorts that are so short that I look like I belong on women’s volleyball team. Why do I have them hiked up to my armpits?

And here we have another winning combination: bathing suit, t-shirt over the top, socks hiked up as far as they can go and tennis shoes. Why the socks and sneakers combo? I have no idea. But if my parents weren’t going to dress me like a normal human being then the least they could have done is shown me the proper way to use binoculars.

My thighs haven’t seen this kind of exposure since I realized I inherited my dad’s legs and not my mom’s in 1988.

Posted in Bad Fashion | 3 Comments »

10 Years Ago

Posted by parsingtime on November 17, 2009

Ten Years ago (either yesterday, today or tomorrow one can’t really be expected to remember the exact day) Husband and I went on our first date. He asked me out via email, something he contends is not true, but I totally remember getting the email and forwarding it on to Random to see if she had been asked to dinner too. She hadn’t.

It’s kind of funny because before I ever met Husband he had been coming over to Random and I’s apartment for cooking lessons. The lessons were a ruse to meet me, which I didn’t know that at the time so of course I made myself scarce whenever he came over because Random was having a friend over of the male persuasion and I didn’t want to be the third wheel.

We went to Trudy’s…Husband was offended I didn’t offer to pay… I was amazed at his ability to get lost… and yet here we are ten years later, married and still pretty darn happy.

Happy First Date-iversary Husband.

Posted in Marriage | 1 Comment »

I had a dream, but not a good one

Posted by parsingtime on November 16, 2009

I had a weird dream last night.

What happened.

Well I was playing baseball but it was different from regular baseball.

It was softball?

What? No. It wasn’t softball. It was baseball but when the batter came up to hit they got into an open aired space craft, like in the cartoons, and went up the air and the ball was pitched straight up and the hitter hit it  even higher. And on the field all the people run around the diamond getting lots of runs. And if your team caught the ball you could pitch it up in the air again the hitter in the aircraft could hit it again and you could get more runs. But then when it fell to the ground it turned into a donut and Britney Spears ate it and the game was over.

What? Did you parse about this?

No, why would I parse about this?

So they would know you take hallucinatory drugs.

Posted in Conversations | 1 Comment »

House Husband

Posted by parsingtime on November 12, 2009

As Husband is unemployed he decided to come with me to the grocery store this week. I did not make him come, he came of his own free will.

Why don’t you go over there and get bananas while I look for apples.

I get a look. Husband rolls around looking for bananas and then returns.

When I said I would come to the grocery store with you I meant to push the cart. I didn’t really want to do anything.

House Husband he is not, but he did buy me a cookie…which is good because who doesn’t love a cookie and bad because I didn’t need a cookie.

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Shutting Down

Posted by parsingtime on November 11, 2009

So I mentioned very briefly that Husband’s company is shutting down. I would tell you what kind of company but if I did then everyone searching for it would find my blog and my anonymity would be gone because there aren’t too many around. Anyway, the company is closed, furniture is being sold and Husband is searching for a job.

Fortunately, his schooling and experience mean that unlike 10% of the country suffering from unemployment, he should be able to find a job relatively quickly. Whether it is really what he wants to do is another question.

As far as I’m concerned if I don’t really care what he does as long as he likes it and it comes with a corporate relocation package. I’m so tired of packing up and moving.

We will probably also try to squeeze in a last minute vacation between moving and starting the new job (not a cruise if I have any say in the matter).  Not having the flexibility to take off whenever you want without having to request vacation time is definitely going to be the hardest thing about Husband moving back to a corporate job.  Random is currently in Australia…doesn’t Australia sound like the perfect last minute vacation?  I wonder if we can just get the cash for a corporate move, pack ourselves and use the left overs for Australia?  It’s the only way I’m going to be motivated to pack.

That was such a frugal Indian person thing to say…except if I really was a frugal Indian person the left over relocation money would go into something boring like our house fund not on a vacation.

So, on to the next thing, whatever that may be.

Posted in Husband | 1 Comment »