Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for October, 2009

Houston

Posted by parsingtime on October 29, 2009

I’m in Houston. It is 6:30 and I can’t sleep.  I’ve already run (with new shoes I bought yesterday, woo hoo) and I have nothing to do until 9. Things I’ve realized since being home?  Dinner tastes a million times better when someone else makes it.  Though perhaps that is because my mom is a million times better cook than I am. Speaking of my mom, I’ve lost 6-7 lbs since July (that colonoscopy really kick started things) and my mom totally did not notice. Her comment to me was, “you weren’t fat before.”  The point isn’t that I was fat before the point is that I lost weight and am way more excited about it than I should be. So you should be too.  I’m waiting to see my grandmother, she will notice the weight loss and make complaints about young people today and it will be awesome.

Drivers in Houston are crazy. I used to be one of them and now all that aggression and car honking is just annoying. I mean does it really matter if you get to your destination 30 seconds later than you had hoped? Yes, yes it does, in Houston at least. But I have lunch with a former co-worker today and she suggested Vietnamese and I almost cried because I haven’t had Vietnamese food since I was in NYC in 2008.  The driving sucks in Houston but the food can’t be beat.

I’m also meeting with my old boss today. It always makes me nervous. This is the man who hired me sight unseen in law school (based on a recommendation), gave me a job post law school and helped me start my business. I never feel like I’m living up to the potential he has always seen in me. For some reason, it is important to me that he is never disappointed in what I do work wise.  Fortunately, I have a killer outfit picked out and I look awesome in a business suit, despite not having worn one in probably a year.  It did mean an extra pair of shoes in the suitcase and given that I’m here for a wedding with those shoes on top of the ones I normally bring, I brought way too many shoes.

There have been complaints from a certain person in San Francisco ( I shall name this person Sunshine, because I find it amusing to give someone in a hardcore business a hippy dippy pseudonym.) that there hasn’t been anything substantive on the blog for a while. I would argue that there hasn’t been anything substantive since this blog started. Regardless, the semi regular blogs will return eventually, Sunshine.  I’ve hit a bit of a dry spell since Husband has put a gag order on the subject of his work. Once it has lifted we will return to our regularly scheduled programming.

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Posted in Random | 1 Comment »

Run Random Run

Posted by parsingtime on October 28, 2009

When Random and I first met at the tender age of 16 our idea of exercise was marching band practice for a couple of hours every day of the fall semester.  Sweating in the Texas sun worked for us.

In college to stem the freshman 15 we took this crazy kickboxing class and used Billy Blanks Tae Bo tapes. It worked and we both remained thin but we were pretty haphazard in our exercise routine.  In the last few years as 30 has creeped closer and closer our ideas for exercise have changed. We both run. Run! Back in high school running was for track team members, not people like us.  I don’t do the distance she does but we both get that exercise high and working out is a daily part of our lives.

In a few days Random Banker is going to be running the NYC marathon. She is an I-banker who frequently works until crazy hours of the morning, gets two hours of sleep (if she’s lucky) and then goes back to work.  She has been spending her scant free time over the last six months or so training for the marathon. A few weeks ago she ran 23 miles. Twenty-three! The only way I would run 23 miles is if I was being chased by the gigantic spiders in the Harry Potter books.  And even then I might just give up and let them eat me.

So if you have time, wish Random good luck and speedy legs for this weekend.

Posted in Family & Friends | 1 Comment »

Texas Bound

Posted by parsingtime on October 26, 2009

Have no fear, I have not run out of random crap to write about, however since I’m going to see a bunch of you this coming weekend I’m saving all ‘Time happenings for in person.

Hi, everyone going to Homechicken’s wedding, Hannah and Kelly!

Posted in Random | 5 Comments »

Differences

Posted by parsingtime on October 21, 2009

So I was talking to R and he said we should just take off for two weeks to Fiji. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Two weeks in Fiji sounds really expensive.

We could go on a cruise.

If we are going to spend a lot of money what about Vietnam?

I don’t think it is a good time to go to Vietnam.

I knew you would try to get me to do something lame, like a cruise, so I looked it up. October through December is a great time to visit Vietnam.

I feel like if we go to Vietnam it won’t be that different than Thailand. Lots of temples etc. I would rather go to Italy or Greece. There’s more to see.

How is that different?  Crumbling ancient building after ancient building. Anyway, we just went on a beach vacation. Do you really want to go on another one?

I love the beach. I could go to the beach every vacation.

Husband and I have differing vacation ideas.

Posted in Conversations | Leave a Comment »

Red Lights

Posted by parsingtime on October 20, 2009

Do you think the chances are of getting stopped twice in two weeks on suspicion of drunk driving are pretty high?  Do you suppose that 2009 wanted to prove to me that it could still F with my life? Is it really possible to be stopped twice in two weeks when your last police experience was in 1997?

The answer to all these questions is Yes.

On Saturday night after watching Texas beat OU (in what can only be described as a painful game) and hanging out with some friends from out-of-town Husband and I headed home. It was 1:30am.  I’m sitting at a light waiting for the left turn signal to turn green. I wait three light cycles and it still doesn’t turn green.  I look over at Husband, look to make sure there are no cars coming in any direction (there aren’t) and I turn left.  The light was still red. It had been red for over 5 minutes at this point.

Thirty seconds later, flashing lights turn on behind me.  And in that moment every curse word available to me went through my head.  Because clearly I was going to get a ticket. I did something completely illegal.  I ran a red light.

So I stop and let me just take a moment to tell you both the cops that have stopped me in the last two weeks (one white, one black) have been extremely polite, well spoken and informative.  Nothing like the overweight abrasive cops that have stopped me in Texas.

I stop. I explain about the three light cycles and that I have not had anything to drink (which I hadn’t, because the cop from two weeks ago scared the crap out of me. I didn’t mention that though.) and he goes back to his car.  Five minutes later he comes back and tells me he appreciates my honesty and he is going to let me go. I then ask his opinion on what to do next time, he gives me answer and it’s done.

But holy crap, people. I got stopped. On the same damn road. On suspicion of drunk driving. Twice.

Posted in MOG | 2 Comments »

No News

Posted by parsingtime on October 19, 2009

Conversation with my Father in Law. So far Husband has been the only one getting these not so subtle hints. This is my first hand experience with them.

So I talked to all the people in India today. They want to know if there is any “news” from you guys.

News?

Well you have been married for four years and in India people have kids by now.  So they wanted to know if there was any “news”.

You can tell them they will be waiting a long time for “news.”

I realize that this is a cultural thing and Indian people, especially family, feel like they don’t have to work on the same field of social norms as other people but it is still frustrating.  Especially given that our family is privy to what is going on currently in our personal lives.  They of all people should know now would not be a good time.

The number of years you are married does not correlate to it being the right time for you to have kids.

Posted in Conversations | 1 Comment »

We’re Not Going to Take It Anymore

Posted by parsingtime on October 15, 2009

2009 has been a cluster fudge of a year for the Time family. We’ve had stabbings, illness, clients lost, car accidents, the demise of a dream, among many other things that have not made it on to the blog.

So it shouldn’t surprise me that my tea kettle broke today.  The universe knows how to push my buttons. And it succeeded when it broke my favorite and most used kitchen appliance.

Fine.  I wave the white flag. 2009 you win. But don’t come back and think you can improve the next two months and I’ll forget what you did to me for the first 10. You are dead to me. Dead.

2010 I’m putting out the welcome mat.

Posted in MOG | 2 Comments »

Unctuous

Posted by parsingtime on October 14, 2009

I hate the word unctuous. Hate.  When it is used to describe newest culinary craze sweeping Texas fairs, it makes me want to gag.

People were queuing for an unusual delicacy: balls of butter, dipped in dough and cooked in a vat of boiling oil. Fried butter, in other words. The balls were dusted with a thin coat of powdered sugar. When bitten, they collapsed with an unctuous squelch.

It is currently unclear if the phrase “unctuous squelch” is making me feel achy and nauseous or if it’s the flu. That’s how much I hate the word unctuous.  It’s not surprising really, if a movie can make me throw up for 8 hours then the idea of eating melted greasy oily butter can make me nauseous.

Per usual The Economist informs me of all the important things going on in the world, including fried butter.

Posted in What the...? | Leave a Comment »

Roman Polanski

Posted by parsingtime on October 13, 2009

Dear Mr. Polanski,

I think you’re a really great director. The Pianist was a great film, though I still haven’t convinced my Husband to see it because he is so over Holocaust films. Nevertheless, I think you are very talented.

I hear you got arrested recently. That must suck. Being in jail can’t be any fun.  I can see why you would feel tired and depressed. You’re a creative type, jail isn’t a place for someone like you I can understand that. Well except for one small teensy thing. It’s been bothering me because lots of people defend you for this. And sure, I get that it happened over 30 years ago, and the girl in question doesn’t want to prosecute because she doesn’t want to deal with the publicity but  I just can’t get over the fact that you gave a 13-year-old girl a quaalude and then raped her vaginally and anally.

Oh, I know that there is evidence of judicial misconduct and that there is evidence you didn’t know the girls real age. And of course you have a suffered greatly having to avoid countries with extradition treaties with the US and not being able to go to Hollywood to direct a film.  Hell, you weren’t even able to return to the US to accept your Oscar.  That is a travesty.

But there is also evidence that you raped a 13-year-old girl and not knowing her age really isn’t an excuse for having sex with someone who said no.  I feel bad for you I really do. Jail, even a Swiss jail can’t be a barrel of laughs. I hope that if and when you are sentenced in the US that it isn’t for a long time (though that fleeing the country thing isn’t going to make a judge happy), but you admitted you raped a 13-year-old girl and you have to be sentenced, even if you don’t serve another day in jail, because what you did was wrong.

I hope that your current life as a great director, husband and father works in your favor. You seem to have lived a more or less good life (if that can even be defined) since then and I doubt that spending the rest of it in jail is a good use of taxpayer dollars. However, like I said before you did rape a child and while justice may be blind, it doesn’t turn a blind eye.

Sincerely,
Parsing Time

Posted in Politics | 2 Comments »

Coconut Cream Pie

Posted by parsingtime on October 12, 2009

Grandma’s Coconut Cream Pie (Kelly’s Grandma not mine).

I made it for book club and it was excellent.  Trust me when  I say it is really simple (especially if you don’t make your own crust, which I don’t) and delicious.

Coconut Cream Pie

Summer this is what you missed this weekend by not visiting your favorite friends in Charlotte.

Also, I sort of love Jim Halpert (in the sanest way it is possible to love a fictional character). I would give him some pie.

Posted in Food & Drink | 1 Comment »