Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for June, 2009

I Should Get Twitter

Posted by parsingtime on June 27, 2009

Mark Sanford has to be super thrilled that Michael Jackson died.

Although being self-employed has many negative aspects one of the positive ones is that you can book a last minute vacation on Wednesday that leaves Sunday and not have to ask your boss for permission.  I guess it also helps that we don’t have kids/pets etc. Spontaneity, it’s not over rated. Also, Husband completely planned this and I’m impressed.

Watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV is all the birth control you will ever need.

My mom has managed to completely furnish an entire two bedroom condo in four days (we’re talking about everything including rugs and wall decor). I haven’t managed to do that in four years. We currently use a plastic bin as a coffee table.

I met my food soul mate at the doggie birthday party. We are both obsessed with Agave, flax seed and grapefruit.

I had an senior HR person at BAC read over my resume and she told me to be less verbose.  Ha. Asking someone who went to law school to be less verbose is near impossible, which is why twitter would never work for me.

Posted in Random | 2 Comments »

Golden

Posted by parsingtime on June 25, 2009

I went to a 4th birthday party yesterday. There was cake, party favors, gifts, photos, singing etc.

It was a birthday party for a Golden Retriever. I have now experienced the phenomenon of people who treat their dogs like (better than?) their kids. And while most dogs I know live a pretty good life they don’t have birthday parties with 4 other Golden Retrievers in attendance.

It was an experience. A fun one for sure but still an experience.

It’s been almost a full year that we have been in Charlotte but I’m finally feeling we are more settled and have some good friends.   Anyone person who invites you to their doggie birthday has to be a good friend. Of course watch Husband come home next week and tell me we are moving.

Posted in What the...? | Leave a Comment »

Youtube Interview

Posted by parsingtime on June 24, 2009

These were the instructions for a job I looked at.

Please email your (1) resume, (2) cover letter and (3) salary requirements to the address listed, in this posting. Please attach a (4) link to a video posted on YouTube.com (or any other video hosting site) in which you answer the question — “Why would you be good at this job?” Please provide an (5) email address and (6) your availability during the next two weeks for an interview Any application submitted without these six elements will not be considered. ABSOLUTELY NO PHONE CALLS.

Youtube! You want me to post a video to Youtube? Is this like a pre-interview trick? Do they want to see if you wear a suit or if you have a huge hairy mole on your face? Do they want to limit the number of applicants?  I mean if you want to work at google then maybe using youtube makes sense but a law firm?

Perhaps this is the future of the hiring process and these guys are taking the initiative. It still seems tres bizarre to me.

Posted in Work | Leave a Comment »

Oil!

Posted by parsingtime on June 21, 2009

Because I promised to update you…clearly the love is still there.

Husband took the car in and got the oil change! He is the hero of the weekend.  The car checked out fine but I do believe that it is getting temperamental in its old age.  I mean don’t even try to turn on the ignition if you left the A/C running. It totally doesn’t like that.

It just needs to last one more year…so that when we move from Charlotte we can leave it behind and not  have to drive two cars to where ever we move.

Posted in Husband | Leave a Comment »

Car Talk

Posted by parsingtime on June 17, 2009

I’m one of those crazy people who when their gas tank gets down to a fourth full has to fill it up. Husband makes fun of me for this, especially since there was a 60 Minutes special on crazy Americans who obsess over how much gas they have.  Cars here are configured so that the light comes on even when you have several gallons left. In Europe it is configured to come on when you are on empty.

Anyway, yesterday I thought about getting gas but decided I would just let Husband do it when he got back from his business trip. Because if there is one thing that I hate more than spiders and milk it is pumping gas.

So I went merrily on my way to lunch with a friend and then to the grocery store.  After finishing up my errands I got in my car started, started backing out of the spot and the whole car turned off. Did you know the brakes still work when the car turns off by itself? No. Well it does. 

I restarted the car. It shut off again. I shut of the A/C and radio and managed to coast along to the closest gas station while breaking several driving rules. My car got me home fine after I pumped in almost 10 full gallons (that is the size of my tank). But now I’m nervous. So I told Husband that I needed to get an oil change because while I haven’t driven 3000 miles it has been more than three months.

Husband I’m going to go today and get an oil change.

Just wait til the weekend and I’ll do it for you.

I told you I needed an oil change a month ago and you said you would do it then and you never did.

I’ll do it this weekend.

Fine you better do it this weekend. And it isn’t my job to remind and if you forget I’m going  to assume you don’t love me or care about my safety and stop loving you. FOREVER. (Hello Drama Queen!)

Oh, come on…you have to remind me. I’ll never remember.

Only someone who doesn’t love me or care about my safety would forget.

It is now down in writing. Will he remember? Stay tuned.

Posted in Conversations | 1 Comment »

PSA

Posted by parsingtime on June 15, 2009

Please excuse this lack of blog posting. Parsing is unable write anything of interest while suffering from hives.

If she were to write something it would go like this:

ITCHY, SCRATCHY, BIG RED WELTS THAT ITCH AND MUST BE SCRATCHED, CANNOT SLEEP, TOO ITCHY, HAVE NOT SLEPT IN TWO WEEKS, ITCHY, SCRATCHY, BIG RED WELTS THAT ITCH AND MUST BE SCRATCHED, CANNOT SLEEP, TOO ITCHY, HAVE NOT SLEPT IN TWO WEEKS, ITCHY, SCRATCHY, BIG RED WELTS THAT ITCH AND MUST BE SCRATCHED, CANNOT SLEEP, TOO ITCHY, HAVE NOT SLEPT IN TWO WEEKS, ITCHY, SCRATCHY, BIG RED WELTS THAT ITCH AND MUST BE SCRATCHED, CANNOT SLEEP, TOO ITCHY, HAVE NOT SLEPT IN TWO WEEKS, ITCHY, SCRATCHY. ITCHY.

And so on and so forth.  Parsing will return when the suffering ends.

Posted in MOG | 1 Comment »

Just for Men

Posted by parsingtime on June 3, 2009

I’m convinced the Saudi’s buy the most Just for Men beard and mustache dye in the world.

You just never see them with gray/white beards.  King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia is 80 something years old.  I say at that age and being the King and everything (not to mention being worth billions) you should just let it go. I mean seriously, dying a beard has to be a lot of upkeep.

Though, it looks like he has a lechorous twinkle in his eye… I’m sure some lovely, nubile young woman in a burka dyes it for him.

Posted in Random | 1 Comment »

Itchy and Scratchy

Posted by parsingtime on June 2, 2009

I would have so many stories for you on the old blog however I’m typing with one hand (the other has to be free in order to scratch my itchy hives) so I can’t report on anything interesting. Here are a few uninteresting things though.

Running while taking zyrtec makes me legs feel like they are full of lead.  It is less than pleasant. This morning while on the treadmill and flipping through the tv channels trying to find something to keep my mind off the fact that I felt like I was running waist deep in syrup, I discovered that MTV was playing music videos. I almost fell off the treadmill. MTV, playing music videos! What a novel concept. 

Also, my eyebrow lady here in Charlotte used to be a software engineer in Singapore for Citigroup.  She can’t get a visa here to work. Crazy.

And lastly, we didn’t win the lottery. Shocking, I know.

Posted in Random | 3 Comments »