Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Stab Victim

Posted by parsingtime on April 6, 2009

Husband read a statistic about how most accidents happen in the home and since then he is always worried when I accidently stub my toe or have to use the step stool to get things from a high up kitchen cabinet. I always tell him I’m fine and that he worries too much. He does worry though because my mom has told him how much I take after my dad.  And between my dad and I, we have been to the emergency room so many times that we will be bleeding, have our eyes super glued shut or be suffering from brown recluse spider poison and she will still stop at home and pick up a book and a sweater. Our health be damned, she will not be bored or cold!

So I had a super busy day yesterday. A ton of work to finish to meet a deadline and my book club was coming over for dinner so Husband kindly did most of my household clean up chores while I worked. Around 2pm, I decided to surface for some lunch. Husband had been a rockstar and had done all the little chores I asked him to do and was finishing up our taxes. I decided to reward him by stabbing myself in the hand with kitchen scissors right in between the  thumb and forefinger of my right hand.

No really, I actually stabbed myself with kitchen scissors.  When I saw the blood spurting out and what looked like a bone to me (but what I found out later was sliced up  hand fat – uh, gross and I have realtively skinny hands), I looked over at Husband and said “oh my god, we have to go to the emergency room.” So we did. Husband got some gauze for my hand I slipped on my flip flops, grabbed my insurance card and we were off.

Lets keep in mind that I had not showered yet and was wearing the same embarrassing tank top from Boston without a bra. Anyway, two hours and several stitches later I got home, ran around trying to get things ready for the book club people which was surprisingly hard, given that I only had the use of one hand. The wine Husband had bought to serve at book club was aptly named Running with Scissors.

 My hand can’t get wet for 48 hours so I showered with my arm in the air encased in a plastic cleaning glove. The wound is also in the most awkward spot, so I can’t do anything that requires a pincer grip… I feel like I can’t really do anything.

I took a photo of the wound but Husband thinks it might be too much for delicate blog readers. So here’s a photo of me at urgent care. Notice the uncombed hair and one arm encased in a hoodie because I was so mortified by my pyjama-ed braless state. I’m putting pressure on the wound to keep it from bleeding.  You would think they would have professionals to do that, but no.

Urgent Care

Urgent Care

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2 Responses to “Stab Victim”

  1. Emilia said

    I will never use my kitchen shears so carelessly again. At least you are lefthanded!
    Score one for you for having appropriately named wine.

  2. Random said

    I want to see a picture of the wound!

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