Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for August, 2008

A Few Things

Posted by parsingtime on August 27, 2008

First off, I made an Indian meal that was actually good on Monday. I’m not sure who was more shocked me or Husband.  Of course then I tried to poison Husband with some undercooked chicken yesterday. How is it that out of three pieces of chicken one was not fully cooked? And why did I give that one to Husband? I’m pretty sure that killing him off with salmonella poisoning the day before our wedding anniversary and just as we got life insurance would look totally sketch. I’m not about to be a People story of the week.

So it’s our third anniversary! It hardly seems like three years have passed since Tiembo and Homechicken did their dance at our reception. Husband left the house this morning without kissing me goodbye. I called him to ask why he just left without saying goodbye (the kiss is standard and has been for three years…if I go check the mail without giving the kiss Husband will ask if I’ve decided on new non-kissing protocol without telling him. So clearly the goodbye kiss is important) and he said he forgot and then decided it was bad luck to do that on our anniversary so he turned the car around and came back.

We also had a bet last night as to what color Hillary Clinton’s pant suit would be. There were four choices that some aide held up earlier in the day (blue, red, teal an orange) and Husband took blue and red and I took teal and orange, knowing that she would totally wear the orange. And she did. And I win the bet…except that whenever Husband and I bet I never know what I want when I win…clearly I need to keep a running list.

For those of you that know Husband you should know that a rift was created in the space time continuum. Husband, yes my Husband has started going to work at 7:30. In the morning. The man who would roll into work around 9am and 10am on Fridays at the old job and got away with it because everyone loved him. The man who needs 9 hours of sleep to feel good. He went to that conference last week and someone lit a fire under his ass and he’s up and getting ready at 6am.  And he isn’t even constantly pushing the snooze button on the alarm clock.  This is the man who I used to call in Korea to wake up. Clearly there is a rift.

And last but least my new book club meets tomorrow night. I don’t know anyone. I basically got invited through a friend from Boston knowing someone in a book club down here. I’m inordinately nervous about the whole thing. I’m fine with meeting new people I just like to at least know one person at the events I go to so I have a backup person to talk to in case no one talks to me. Oh well. It’s time to suck it up and make some friends.

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Yes, Really

Posted by parsingtime on August 20, 2008

I’m sorry but some how jumping on a trampoline became an international event ten years ago and I missed the memo.  I watched a bit of it on TV last night shocked that such an event existed. It doesn’t seem nearly as hard as gymnastics. Tres Bizarre. The Olympics certainly do bring out some random sports.

The in-laws are gone. The visit was pretty okay. I think I bonded with my mother-in-law. Given how much she cried when she gave me a hug and the definite lack of tears and half hug that Husband got.  Quite frankly, I’ll take it I need all the people I can get who like me in Husband’s family and  if that means shoving Husband aside for people’s affection well so be it.

Husband is off on his first business trip so I have the whole apartment to myself…and the whole bed. But I don’t know anyone here so I have no one to talk to (which means I call my mother much more than I usually do because biologically she is required to talk to me),  so if someone wants to get ice cream sometime over the next few days in NC let me know. I’ll buy.

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Beloit List

Posted by parsingtime on August 19, 2008

There is this thing called the Beloit College Mindset List and every year they provide a list of the mindset of the incoming freshman college class. I can’t speak to other years but I take exception to mine. I think because the two guys who create it are old they really have no idea what people our age remember and don’t remember. They state that they are generalizations and don’t represent everyone’s experience but I think I could talk to almost anyone I know who started college around that time and they would know about 2/3 of this list.

I entered college in 1998 so this is the list for my year.

  1. The people starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980. Yes.
  2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and did not know he had ever been shot. In fact I did know this. And I didn’t come to the US until the 1990s. They do teach this in history.
  3. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.  Yes, I was. Good job on the math
  4. Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression. Okay, I didn’t know much about Black Monday but I knew plenty about the Great Depression.
  5. There has only been one Pope. They can only remember one other president.
  6. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart, and do not remember the Cold War.
  7. They have never feared a nuclear war. “The Day After” is a pill to them—not a movie. I don’t recall the Day After Pill becoming particularly significant until college. I don’t think this is true at all. And I still fear nuclear war, so there.
  8. They are too young to remember the Space Shuttle Challenger blowing up. No I remember.
  9. Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
  10. They never had a polio shot, and likely, do not know what it is. Yes I do.
  11. Bottle caps have not always been screw off, but have always been plastic. They have no idea what a pull top can looks like. I remember being so weirded out when pull tops went to the new kind of push in tops on cans. This list is starting to annoy me.
  12. Atari pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums. I do in fact remember Atari and wrote about it. Also my dad had plenty of vinyls that he played.
  13. The expression “you sound like a broken record” means nothing to them. We are not stupid.
  14. They have never owned a record player.
  15. They have likely never played Pac Man, and have never heard of “Pong.”  Who hasn’t played Pac-Man? Kids still play Pac-man. Again this list is dumb.
  16. Star Wars looks very fake to them, and the special effects are pathetic. Star Wars was my first “grown up” movie. I’ve never thought the special effects are pathetic. Do you think Gone with the Wind is a pathetic movie because the fire scenes look fake? No, it was made in the 1930s what do you expect.
  17. There have always been red M&Ms, and blue ones are not new. What do you mean there used to be beige ones? I remember the beige. Blue ones ARE new to me.
  18. They may never have heard of an 8-track, and chances are they’ve never heard or seen one.
  19. The compact disc was introduced when they were one year old.
  20. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.
  21. They have always had an answering machine. Not true.
  22. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black & white TV. For the first 9 years of my life we only had 6 Channels.
  23. They have always had cable. Not true.
  24. There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what Beta is. We still have a betamax.
  25. They cannot fathom what it was like not having a remote control.
  26. They were born the year Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
  27. Roller-skating has always meant in-line for them. I never skated in-line until my teens. I have photographic proof.
  28. “The Tonight Show” has always been with Jay Leno.
  29. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
  30. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
  31. They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a football player. Are we stupid? We must be stupid.
  32. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. Not True.
  33. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI and WWII or even the Civil War. Not True.
  34. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran. Not True.
  35. They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are. I’ve never had contacts but given that they advertise soft contacts I am aware that there must have been hard ones.
  36. They don’t know who Mork was, or where he was from. Hello, Nick at Nite.
  37. They never heard the terms “Where’s the Beef?”, “I’d walk a mile for a Camel” or “De plane, de plane!”
  38. They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is. I actually remember this getting coverage in England. But I wasn’t old enough to watch.
  39. The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was. Seriously, they think we are stupid.
  40. Michael Jackson has always been white. This list is aggravating.
  41. Kansas, Boston, Chicago, America, and Alabama are all places—not music groups. Sigh.
  42. McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.  Double sigh.
  43. There has always been MTV, and it has always included non-musical shows. We didn’t have cable so I didn’t have MTV!

This list bugs the crap out of me for no good reason.

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Olympics II

Posted by parsingtime on August 13, 2008

If you swim for 6 hours a day you get to eat all this:

Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase “Breakfast of Champions” by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.  At lunch, Phelps gobbles up a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread – capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.  For dinner, Phelps really loads up on the carbs – what he needs to give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen – with a pound of pasta and an entire pizza.

It sort of makes me ill to think about eating all that, but it certainly seems to be working for him.

Also, there is no way that all the Chinese Gymnasts are sixteen. Watching water polo exhausts me more than you can imagine.

And you know that Visa commercial? This one:

 

I always feel a little choked up and impressed everytime I see it. I also love Morgan Freeman’s voice.

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Wal-Mart v. Airline

Posted by parsingtime on August 12, 2008

Conversation from Today:

We didn’t check any bags. The airline is not getting my $15 dollars.

Wow, I doubt I could pack for 8 days in a carry on.

Oh, we need to stop at Wal-Mart for a few things.

Okay.

Wal-Mart shopping commences.

We toothpaste, sunscreen and a few other things.

While buying water

Won’t you need more than six bottles of water for 4 days of hiking?

No, we’ll just refill them at the hotel. (Later the sane person (not me) in the group convinced the less sane (also not me) to buy more)

While checking out the total comes to over $20.

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Best Thing Ever

Posted by parsingtime on August 11, 2008

I am in LOVE with Stacy’s Pita Chips in the Simply Naked flavor. In fact I love them so much that I can’t even fathom the thought of trying another flavor. And they come in some pretty interesting other flavors: cinnamon sugar, multigrain, parmesan, pesto and sundried tomato etc. I actually haven’t bought the cinnamon sugar ones because I don’t want those to become a favorite, as I’m sure they would be (mmm…scooping vanilla ice cream into them sounds yummy).

Anyway, I recommend you go buy them and try them yourself. Along with my Bob’s Red Mill Oatmeal/multigrain breakfast they are my favorite food item of the moment.  They have the perfect crunch, are cholesterol and trans fat free and taste great with so many things, including hummus, on the side as a healthy chips/lays alternative, guacamole, 7 layer dip, broken up and made into yummy crumbs for your tilapia etc.

The only complaint I would have, if any, is that at my grocery store you can only buy the small bags. It would be nice to have the party size available.

Stacy's Pita Chips, Simply Naked, 18-Ounce Bag (Pack of 6)

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Olympics

Posted by parsingtime on August 9, 2008

Like many people I watched the opening ceremonies last night and they were amazing.  As much as I love the theatrics of the opening show I really enjoy watching all the countries come in, especially all the ones with the small delegations. They all look so excited to be there.  It  was also neat to see other  athletes going over to Kobe Bryant and other American athletes and getting their photos taken.  It’s too bad that most of the people there won’t medal but I suppose if you make it to the Olympics that is definitely something to be thrilled about medal or no medal.

Did anyone else see George Bush smirk when Iraq’s delegation walked in? 

I’m looking forward to the next couple of weeks. The Olympics are definitely better than anything else that has been on TV since the writers strike!

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Annoyed

Posted by parsingtime on August 8, 2008

I was in Walmart today. And by that first sentence you are probably saying, “well it was Walmart I’m sure you deserved it for shopping there.” Anyway I was in Walmart picking up Colgate, Saran Wrap and picture hangers and went to the 15 items or less check out line. A woman of a certain ethnicity was the cashier. She saw me, switched off her light and told me she was closed. I then moved over to the other 15 items or less line and proceeded to wait my turn.

A woman came up behind me, of the same ethnicity of the cashier and the cashier told her she would check her out.

Perhaps the cashier was unimpressed by the items I was purchasing or perhaps the Carolina sun made me sweaty and unpleasant to check out but somehow I think not.

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Issues

Posted by parsingtime on August 5, 2008

I haven’t worked in a law firm for two years now and have no plans to return. But the bar exam…the bar exam is constantly in the back of my mind. I should take it. It’s the right thing to do. It would make my parents happy. It would give me some sort of self-validation though probably not nearly as much as I think it will.  But I pretty much hate it with every fiber of my being. The thought of studying outlines and taking multiple choice tests that I just can’t seem to get my head around makes me want to heave.

And yet every year on the last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of July I think about all those people sitting in the freezing cold convention center in Houston taking the exam.

Clearly I have issues.

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You May Begin

Posted by parsingtime on August 4, 2008

Good luck to Husband on opening his own company today! He has a partner, (we’ll name him, Hedgehog or perhaps the Hog for short) of course, so he isn’t doing this on his own but it’s still a big day. He might be a bit nervous if all the tossing and turning last night is anything to go by.  Being the good wife that I am I made him some hearty oatmeal this morning and packed his lunch. I also left a note in his lunch like Emilia’s mother used to do in high school. I didn’t however cut his sandwich into the shape of a heart. I’m not that good.  I feel like we just flashed back to the 1950s but since he isn’t working at a big company paying him big dollars eating sandwiches and leftovers for lunch is in his forseeable future.

I think I mentioned that I would never be a size zero again and so before moving I threw away all my small clothes. Well that has come to bite me in the ass because now I have about two inches of give in several of my pants and my bras are puckering because the gals seem to have gotten tad smaller . The scale has not moved one tenth of a pound but the new gym seems to have done something to the old body. I’m of course thrilled though confused as I’m doing nothing different than Boston. Perhaps the weather here means my body doesn’t feel the urge to hold on to the fat for warmth.  Or maybe it’s the new breakfast. It is sort of amazing to me that a year ago in India is when I first started exercising regularly. I’m sort of surprised that I’ve kept it up.

I’m in the process of perfecting my mojito recipe so I will post that soon. I don’t really like alcohol but I enjoy learning how to make the few things I do like (Sangria, Mojitos and Bellinis) because I don’t like paying $9 for a Mojito when I can buy an entire bottle of rum that will make twenty mojitos for $12.

We saw Batman last week. I really really liked the movie. If you haven’t seen it yet, you should. I thought it was one of the best action films I’d seen in a long time.

What else? I started reading those Twlight vampire books because they were hyped up as being as good as the Harry Potter series. Bella is the name of the main character. I’ve never read a more immature or stupidly in-love to the detriment of everything else character.  She does not kick ass, she cries and makes doe eyes at her vampire boyfriend. I don’t get the obessession. Harry Potter this is not. I did read The Book Thief  which is also young adult literature and really enjoyed it. It is about WWII from the perspective of two german kids and narrated by Death. I’ve also read Bel Canto and Three Cup of Tea both of which I enjoyed and are good reads though won’t be on the top of my favorites list. I’m also in the process of reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma and Just Enough by Howard Stevenson, which is a book about being successful at work and in your personal life that Husband recommended. I actually have four books going right now. Like I said earlier there is not a lot to do in Queen City.

Okay, kids have happy Monday.

PS – Emilia – Clearly you could guide tours around Charlotte since the tour guide told me about the craftsman stuff. I was hoodwinked! 🙂

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