More Annoyed than Amused

Timeline: Eight through Fourteen

Posted by parsingtime on February 11, 2008

1988: My first experience actually feeling different. I am the only non-white person in school. We have swimming class at the school (despite the water being freezing in England) and everyone (boys and girls) change in the classroom after swim class. I see my first penis. I also realize that Santa Claus is not real.

1989: My best friend’s from Hong Kong has moved to England and her sister teaches me to ride a bike in her driveway. We move to America. My Uncles take me to Six Flags and I pout because I’m too short to ride the roller coasters. But my sister has the chicken pox so she doesn’t go at all. I make Six Flags sound like the best thing ever when describing it to her.

1990: Mrs. Schofield is my teacher. She is ten years old because she was born on February 29th. I think she is super cool. I always get picked to read to the class because I have a British accent. Bradley Goodson makes fun of my accent all the time. I work hard to lose it.

1991: I play the Wicked Witch of the East in a school play. I meet Anthony. On the first day we meet we have a staring contest. Sixteen years later we are still friends. I cut my hair short for the first time in my life, mostly because my mom didn’t want me too. I decide I want to learn to play saxophone in band. Secretly it is only because I want to learn how to play Axel F the theme from the movie Beverly Hills Cop.

1992: We move to Houston. In the process of packing I find what looks like round candy under my parents bed but is actually a condom. I realize my parents still have sex. I hate Houston. I make tons of long distance phone calls to Anthony not even thinking about the phone bill. It arrives and I get in trouble.

1993: I am attending high school in the morning for a Spanish class and then spend the rest of my day at junior high for my regular classes. I play Edmund Randolph in the 8th grade reenactment of the Continental Congress and secede from the barely formed Union taking many delegates with me. I discover that not only do I love politics… I really love politics. I go shopping with my mom for a dress for the 8th grade dance. I think I look nice and then I see the cool girls in short halter top cocktail dresses and feel frumpy. I dance with this guy from band, he is sweaty and I’m grossed out.

1994: I’m in high school. I meet two women who become life long friends, ironically they both play the clarinet. I faint on the marching field, lose two teeth and need eight stitches. My Mom has been to the ER so many times that before she takes me to get sewn up she stops at home to pick up a book and a sweater.


One Response to “Timeline: Eight through Fourteen”

  1. Emilia said

    When you fainted, that was no pansy girly swoon…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: