Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for April, 2007

Expat Cliques

Posted by parsingtime on April 26, 2007

So I have been trying to figure out ways to make friends while we are in India this summer. I decided to look up and see if there were any expat groups of Americans or Europeans that I could get into contact with.

Just a side note here, when I was looking up expat groups I found the expat classifieds. Seemingly there are quite a few of lonely men in Mumbai looking for “discreet companionship” and/or a healthy open minded couple for a threesome.  These guys even list there talents in the sexual arena, like for example (and this is tame) “submission to dominatrix.” Indeed.

So I contacted this group of expats for women to see if I could get more information and join their listserv. And this was part of the email that I received back:

This is a limited membership group thus the need for more information.  Where were you born and raised?  What brings you to Mumbai?
How long will you be in Mumbai?  What area of Mumbai do you live in?

If you are of Indian origin,  do you speak any Indian languages?  Do you
plan to settle here indefinitely?  Do you have family here?

Also, what do you hope to get from joining this group?

I didn’t realize this was a clique and only the people with the right answers got to joined, but seemingly it is. It feels like an interview to have friends. Like, if you are of Indian origin and have family in the country, well then you don’t really need friends and you can’t join.  Also, if you don’t plan on being here indefinitely, well we don’t want to bother being friends with you.

Who knows, perhaps I will have to send in a picture next to make sure I fit the image.

I’ll be honest, I’m sad about this email. I thought I was being all proactive and crap to make sure I do have a good time this summer and I just got shot down.

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Posted in India, What the...? | Leave a Comment »

Shoes and Heartburn

Posted by parsingtime on April 25, 2007

Can heartburn kill you? Because if it can then I’m suffering a slow and torturous death. Come on Tums, do your thing.

Also, because I have nothing interesting to tell you.  I got these for less than $20 bucks!

I don’t really collect shoes or anything (I know most women find them fascinating) but I absolutely love colorful tennis shoes. I own some red ones that I bought in law school and didn’t wear for over a year. I didn’t think I could pull them off and now I wear them all the time.  Anyway, I was in a store that was having a moving sale and I got them for $18 dollars.  Then when I was dress shopping I saw them in another store for $69.99. I love getting a deal.

And lastly, tonight I went to Zoe’s Diner. This is a definite recommend. It had a huge breakfast menu and fun evening options with a Greek flair (the owner is Greek) . But before you go take a tums or twelve otherwise you will die of heartburn like me.

Posted in Food & Drink, Navel Gazing | 1 Comment »

eBay Disaster

Posted by parsingtime on April 24, 2007

So I was hoodwinked by the Chinese. One Chinese woman in particular actually. There is this ball type event that my presence is required at and I needed a new dress having worn my only formal dress at the last ball thingy. Anyway, I found a great dress but it was $340, which was way more than I wanted to pay for a dress.  I could fly home and see my parents for that price. So I decided to see if it was available on eBay. Now I’ve had a lot of luck with Ebay. I bought a brand new laptop on eBay, I’ve bought shoes, random books, CDs and goodness knows what else.  I’ve always had a good eBay relationship.

So I bought the dress on eBay. The seller unbeknownst to me is in China not Baltimore as listed on the paypal account. I get the dress see that it has come from China and get a little concerned.  I open the package and the dress looks right from what I can remember and then I try it on. The dress is the wrong length, has these weird see-though spots and does not fit like the dress at the store fit.

This event is on Friday people. I do not have a dress to wear. This city has very few department stores because there is no space. I don’t want to spend $300+ on a dress from a boutique. I just want a nice dress for a normal price and be done with it.

So I did what I had to do and drove to Rhode Island.  So not only am I spending money on a dress, I’m losing money by not working and driving to Rhode Island. Anyway, Rhode Island contains barely a million people.  The state house in Providence is so cute and tiny you just want to put it in your pocket and take it out for show and tell later.  However, Rhode Island for all its smallness has a big mall, with lots of stores including a Nordstrom.  Who knew Rhode Island the smallest state in America would have something that I needed? I found a dress and also got my eyebrows threaded at possibly the best threading place I’ve ever been to outside of India.

Don’t knock Rhode Island, people. It may be small but they have stuff you might just need.  Also, I know there are blog readers out there that are Chinese. I am not maligning your culture. I’m just annoyed that I got hoodwinked by a woman who claimed to be in Baltimore but was really selling me a knock off dress made for $3 by child laborers in China. And if it had been a good knock-off made by child laborers it would have been fine.* It’s the poorly made fake stuff I can’t stand.

*Just a little humor there. I don’t really condone child labor. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.

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Protected: Chili

Posted by parsingtime on April 21, 2007

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Fun with Search Engine Terms

Posted by parsingtime on April 19, 2007

People have reached this site by googling

  • spice thai +cambridge +mice
  • Husband can not have sex
  • Pyjam as dude
  • more time with husband
  • decent cars
  • ninja hand claw (someone wanted to buy one of these! That makes me giggle
  • Cobaltss
  • sick chevy cobalt
  • god billboards
  • how do i say congrats in india
  • Large teeth
  • Shocking people
  • Lobster playing hockey
  • wigs, heels dress
  • +couples+hypnic Jerk
  • Britney Spears Hate
  • Receding Hairline 20
  • vineet modhgil
  • Bush Aids Africa
  • It is very sad and unfair that Colombia
  • Indian Incest (I actually looked this one up (I don’t recommend it) and couldn’t find any hits to my site, but I gave up after the first page because it was nasty with a capital N)
  • Squid Bahama
  • Songs that make me cry

Okay, not an interesting post but you have something to look forward to this weekend. I’m going to be writing about how Husband got roped into a chili cook-off and how I got hoodwinked into making FIVE GALLONS of chili, a food I’ve never made before.

Posted in Random | 3 Comments »

Super Sweet Sixteen

Posted by parsingtime on April 18, 2007

The materialistic pampered teens that are featured on MTV’s Super Sweet Sixteen really do make me reconsider procreation. Why are these parents giving into to their kids and paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for a huge party complete with a famous musician and a birthday gift that is almost always a fancy car that cost more than my law school education.  Almost as bad as the kids throwing these parties are the kids who are desperate to attend.  One girl made the kids who weren’t on the list have a dance off in front of her. She actually looked like she was getting off on her power. Another had the “hottest guys” in school  strip and show her their muscles. Another dyed her dogs pink so that they would match her dress.

Does this show concern anyone else? Almost as concerning to me but in a completely different way was this article from the NY Times.  It’s about high school girls in Newton, MA who have perfect SAT scores, are classical pianists, are champion cross country runners, fluent in Spanish, taking AP courses,  are presidents of student organizations and volunteer weekly. And really that describes just one of the girls! The girls also want to be pretty and thin and considered hot.  The article is basically about these girls who are working long and hard to get into the best colleges possible. And the irony is that most of them did not get in to their first, second or third choices. Colleges are just getting that much more competitive.

It pains me to think that kids these days have to do so much just to get into college. I thought applying to college and law school was stressful enough and I wasn’t even competing on an Ivy League level. And at the same time I live with someone getting an Ivy League education and he spent 6 months in the hell hole named Korea (I actually like Korea, it just annihilated Husband both mentally and physically) so that he would have more than one international experience on his resume.

Anyway, my point in this rambling mess of a post is that I really want my kids to enjoy childhood and be kids. I want them to be successful in whatever they choose but I don’t want them to be scheduled from birth to 24 so that they can get into good college/post grad programs.  Also, there is no way Lil Bow Wow or Ciara will be playing at their fifth or fifteenth birthday.   

Posted in Random | 2 Comments »

100 Things

Posted by parsingtime on April 16, 2007

For my 100th Post One Hundred Things about me. And yes, this feels and is narcissistic.

  1. I’m 27.
  2. I’ve been to every continent except Antarctica
  3. I’m married to a lovely man who is useless in the kitchen
  4. I have a sister who is almost a doctor
  5. I love Cadbury’s Chocolate Mini Eggs with a passion that I reserve for few things.
  6. I’ve been to India twice and gotten horribly ill each time
  7. I was born in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
  8. I traveled in an RV around the north and south islands of New Zealand
  9. I believed in Santa Claus until I was 8
  10. I hate that there is a ring around our toilet bowl that I can’t get out. It bothers me to no end. I’ve even tried bleach
  11. I hate putting away dishes from the dishwasher
  12. Sometimes I fantasize about being a famous rockstar or a much beloved politician
  13. My best friend is an I-Banker, a job that I could never do because I suck at math
  14. I married my other best friend
  15. I would choose to be friends with my parents even if I wasn’t related to them
  16. I’ve only ever been in love once
  17. Six months ago I would have told you that Uggs were for Britney Spears and Pamela Anderson and were the ugliest shoe I had ever seen. One winter in Boston and I’m a converted Ugg-hater. Those things keep your feet warm (though why they are needed in LA I’ll never know)
  18. Clementines, kiwis and pineapple are my favorite fruits
  19. I adore sushi and would eat every week if I could
  20. I read MSNBC, the Houston Chronicle, Drudgereport, NY Times and the BBC (online) every single day
  21. I’ve been reading Hagar the Horrible, For Better or Worse, Family Circus, Hi & Lois, Foxtrot and Luann since I was 12.
  22. Some of the dreams I have at night have come true
  23. I predicted that oil would go above seventy over a year before it actually happened (and I was only a month off on choosing the month it happened).
  24. I don’t eat white food with the exception of rice and ice cream
  25. I couldn’t cook before I got married and now a year and a half later I’m getting decent at it
  26. I love the smell of coffee but I don’t like to drink it
  27. If I didn’t get my eyebrows done I’d have a uni-brow
  28. I don’t have a nail on my right foot big toe
  29. I dislocated my left shoulder when I was four and every masseuse I’ve ever been to has asked if  in the past I injured my left shoulder
  30. I am the CEO, COO, CFO, manager and only employee of my own business
  31. I miss having co-workers but love the flexibility of working from home
  32. I am a hot chocolate connoisseur. Scratch that, I’m a chocolate connoisseur
  33. I just bought three new books and they are all non-fiction, not the norm for me
  34. I obsess over things. If I find a food I love I eat it everyday until I’m sick of it. I play songs over and over and I get interested in various things learn about it voraciously and then get bored and stop altogether
  35. I would call myself a jack of all trades and a master of none
  36. I’ve hated Robert Mugabe since I was 12. That is 15 years of intense dislike of an African dictator.
  37. I have 20/18 vision. That’s better than perfect.
  38. I have a constant need to be entertained. Boredom is my worst enemy
  39. I have no life plan
  40. I prefer to wear shoes at all times. Husband doesn’t like shoes in the house. It makes me sad
  41. Husband wins almost all of our arguments. It kills me. I don’t like to lose
  42. I have an overactive imagination.
  43. Songs tell the story of my life. Certain songs take me back to an exact moment in the past, ie Wouldn’t it by Nice by the Beach Boys reminds me of our wedding, Love Generation by Bob Sinclair will always remind me of Harvard and It Wasn’t Me, by Shaggy reminds me of San Francisco and Stephen
  44. I love reading the comments section in the Economist. Inevitably someone really famous or interesting was reading the articles from the previous week and they usually have insight I’ve never thought of
  45. I absolutely love reading the “Dear Abby” of India when I’m in India. The questions are usually from men and always have something to do with masturbation or length of their “instrument.” It makes me giggle like a 12 year old boy that 30 year olds are asking these questions. This from the homeland of Kama Sutra. It’s ironic.
  46. The Green Mile by Stephen King and Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe both made me cry.
  47. Also, I had no idea Harriet Beecher Stowe was white
  48. I hate to be cold
  49. I think I may be a sugar addict. I wish Cadbury’s mini eggs had the nutritional content of an apple. My life would be complete if that were the case
  50. My parents getting old worries me
  51. I don’t understand why celebrities want to have secret relationships and then go out to clubs and restaurants and sit on each others laps and make out. If you want your relationship to be a secret then don’t suck face in public.
  52. I love playing Taboo and gin rummy
  53. I can’t remember my wedding day without thinking of my mortifying embarrassment at the caterer being late with the food. That caterer has taken away having completely happy memories of that day
  54. When I was a baby until I got my first hair cut I had an Afro. Photographic evidence of my ‘fro exists.
  55. I actually like India in general despite Indiagate 2007, but it doesn’t feel like home when I go there
  56. If I could have dinner with anyone living or dead I would probably pick Henry VIII. But only because I’m reading a biography of him right now.
  57. I would love to meet Bill Clinton
  58. I would love to kick Ann Coulter
  59. Sometimes our small apartment makes me feel claustrophobic. I don’t have my own space.
  60. I’m learning excel with the help of Random Banker and Husband. I’ve managed to avoid it until now, because formulas/logic/math and I don’t mix
  61. I don’t love my work. I like it, but I don’t know what I’m passionate about
  62. If Mount Everest weren’t treacherous and really cold I would love to climb to the top, but it is, so I will settle for a hike to base camp
  63. I want to stay, at least once in my life, in one of those huts in the sea that you see in advertisements for Bora Bora and Tahiti
  64. The best breakfast I’ve ever had was at Amici’s in Aruba
  65. My grandmother is one of my favorite people to spend time with
  66. My favorite meals are always cooked by my mom
  67. I wish I knew how to make Thai Iced Tea at home that tastes like the restaurants
  68. I like to think I’m realistic but I think others think I’m pessimistic
  69. I often wonder what the world will be like when my kids are my age
  70. I have trouble sleeping at night because I think about things like No. 69 instead of sleeping
  71. I like playing Wii
  72. I don’t miss office politics
  73. I miss my family (now that we have moved 2000 miles away) less than I thought I would
  74. I wish I was a better cook
  75. It shocks me that there isn’t a Wal-Mart or Super Target in Boston
  76. I love trying new non-alcoholic drinks. I’m the girl who looks at the bottled teas and concoctions in Whole Foods and wonders if they are good.
  77. My favorite drink in the whole world is regular coke. I don’t drink diet and I don’t drink pepsi. I’ve also stopped drinking coke regularly due to the 14 teaspoons of sugar in it
  78. I also like sweetened iced tea and thai iced tea but those aren’t good for you either.
  79. I’ve never broken any bones
  80. While I was at University every time I went to the doctor they told me I was pregnant.  If I had actually been pregnant I would be the first hindu pregnant with the second coming of Christ.
  81. I’m glad that I don’t have to wear makeup on a day to day basis to look decent
  82. If I could have a super human power I would pick flying because it seems like fun and I wouldn’t have to walk up five flights of stairs every day
  83. I’ve never dyed my hair
  84. Hummus on wheat toast is my current favorite between meals snack
  85. I love getting massages
  86. I like Boston, I just wish the weather was warmer
  87. I buy wedding gifts way early. I’ve been the first person to send gifts to the last three people I’ve sent gifts too.
  88. I really wish I could sing well. Or at least dance well
  89. I have yet to discover my innate talent (everyone has one or at least that’s what I tell myself)
  90. I can’t sleep if I have dirty feet
  91. I’m amazed by the number of Catholic priests who have been accused of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder about the type of people who become priests and makes me feel sad for those ones who are not predators.  Also, it makes me wonder about authority figures. This is another example of what runs through by head instead of sleeping
  92. It bothers me that I’m not taller than our fridge. I wish I was 5’7
  93. I don’t like wine but I will drink Champagne drinks. I think it is because I like effervescent bubbles.
  94. I have decided that I hate Desperate Housewives. It has just gotten painful to watch. That being said, The Office can also be painful to watch
  95. I’m not a good decorator
  96. I’ve met Colin Powell, Newt Gingrich and James Carville. All were very interesting
  97. I would have never passed high school geometry without the assitance of EEH, superstar archivist
  98. It freaks me out a bit that people I know from high school are having kids
  99. I have surprisingly maintained the same weight and clothing size for the last 6 years
  100. Although I’m blunt and to the point, I feel absolutely terrible if I ever hurt anyone’s feelings

Posted in Me | 10 Comments »

How to Annoy Me

Posted by parsingtime on April 16, 2007

After what has to be the worst night of sleep in my life I realize that the howling wind that was so loud it kept me awake all night long, was actually the wind and the screen acting in concert to create a very loud howling noise.

I could have gone to another room and slept in relative peace. Stupid Northeaster.

I am so tired that I just spelled to as  “ot” and had to look at it for a full 30 seconds before realizing why exactly it didn’t look right.

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Wellies

Posted by parsingtime on April 15, 2007

So I’ve been corresponding with this guy whose blog I found while googling the apartment complex where we will be living when we are in India and he had this to say about the area in Bombay we are staying:

The main intersection there between <undisclosed location where Dick Cheney is probably hiding> and the railway station there (basically an intersection you need to cross often) has a very high tendency to flood – the drainage in that particular part of the city is really useless. I’ve seen it over knee deep there after only a couple of hours of heavy rain.


You may find that some days you simply can’t make it to the office. Luckily employers tend to be understanding of that sort of thing, they don’t expect you to go out if the conditions are really bad. If it starts to rain really heavily while you are at work, it’s even not unheard of for people to sleep at the office. Expect the occasional power cut too. To tell you the truth the monsoon season is really a lot of fun 🙂  You probably will end up wading through knee-deep flood water. Almost guaranteed if you’re in Bombay.

Because of this information I plan on purchasing some of these (perhaps not in this garish style) :

Funky pink

Because I know none of you who know me in real life actually believe that I could comfortably wade through knee deep water in India without fear of disease or at least getting dirty. I don’t like to be dirty, so if the wellies keep the dirt on the outside I’m all for it. I can’t even sleep if my feet are dirty so I’m not sure how I will feel wading through India flood water. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t wade through US flood water either.

My little blog buddy also had some really great things to say about the city (he is from New Zealand) and gave me some good recommendations for places to eat and sights not to miss. I think it will be an interesting summer.

Edit: Chanel makes rain boots and they can be yours for the low low price of $699.99. If you know where to get some tall rain boots please let me know (15 inches or taller!)

Posted in India | 1 Comment »

Medical Phenomenon

Posted by parsingtime on April 14, 2007

So I had my yearly well woman exam yesterday which also included a blood test. This morning I get a call from the doctor (on a Saturday!) checking to make sure I’m still alive.

Seemingly, my blood test shows that my blood sugar is so low I should be unconscious (which is amusing given how much I enjoy sugar). And yet here I am feeling fine and still standing. Clearly, I will become part of an AMA study and have my name heralded as a phenomenon among the low blood sugar set of doctors.

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