Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Archive for November, 2006

He may go to an Ivy League but he isn’t that smart

Posted by parsingtime on November 28, 2006

Someone else reached my blog by googling “Signs,wife no longer interested in Husband.” Ha. I love this feature of wordpress. It is endlessly amusing.

So today, dishes are in the sink again. Husband views the mess (from the third homemade dinner in a row that I have cooked. Sunday night being a large thanksgiving dinner for two!) and states, “don’t you ever get tired of this?” Arms waving expansively just in case I don’t know what he was talking about. Um, yes, but someone has to do it, was my response.  In his defense he had a long day and normally washes up but generally I let him off when he has lots of homework…this will probably become a trend as finals will be starting soon.

Anyway, Husband decided to continue his stellar commenting by stating, “we are both gaining weight.”
Me: Are you calling me fat?
Husband: No! I didn’t say that, I’m just saying we are gaining weight here.
Me: I’m wearing the jeans that I bought when I was twenty.
Husband:Then it must just be me gaining wieght*. My pants didn’t fit today.

Indeed.

Then just now
Me: Do you really think I’m fat?
Husband: Oh god, (closes eyes and rubs forehead) this is going to be the worst day of my life.

* I’d just like to say that I try to cook healthy meals (grilled salmon, salads (without lots of dressing), vegetables etc etc) and yes, I do make Husband cookies, but I did that before we moved here. Beer consumption has increased dramatically since arriving in MA and that is totally not my fault.

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Thanksgiving

Posted by parsingtime on November 27, 2006

Well, I made my first Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday evening. Yes, I know Sunday wasn’t Thanksgiving, but Husband and I were with our vegetarian family in New Jersey this weekend and so we didn’t have a real thanksgiving dinner. It was quite shocking walking around the grocery store yesterday and not seeing brown and serve rolls or pecan pie. It seemed sacrilegious, but I’m from the South so perhaps I’m not used to Northern Thanksgiving.

We also spent a few hours in NYC this weekend. I got my first glimpse of Central Park and Times Square. It is quite shocking how many people are swarming the streets in NYC. Fortunately, we did walk along some quiet clean streets….they were Park, Madison and 5th.  Basically the most expensive real estate in the tri-state area! All the door men were very friendly and Husband’s cousin pointed out Barbara Walter’s building. So all in all a good visit, even though I didn’t get to go to the Cupcake Cafe. 😦

I could never live in NYC for only one reason….it would be my personal goal to try every single bakery in the city and since that would lead to my death from clogged arteries, obesity and sugar overdose…well clearly I can’t live there.  It is a neat city though and I hope I get a chance to go again and spend more time. If only Random Banker would get herself to NYC so that I would have a free place to stay! BTW, I wore the uggs and my feet were comfortable and happy the during our 4-5 hours of walking. Husband’s feet were hurting, but he didn’t have cloud like fleece enveloping his feet.

I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving.

Posted in Family & Friends, Food & Drink | 1 Comment »

When you get what you want but not what you need

Posted by parsingtime on November 27, 2006

Someone reached my blog by googling “Crazy slutty.” I wonder what that says about this blog?

In other news, I’m having to negotiate fees! Negotiate. Me. I have never wanted to own my own business. I’m comfortable having a boss and someone looking over my work before it is sent out. I am also comfortable working in a soul sucking office, in fact I like it. In fact, I always told my mother (a small business owner herself) that I would NEVER go into business for myself for several reasons:

  • One, you are always working no matter what. Emergency on a Sunday? You have to take care of it, because it is your money disapating if you don’t. You can never be away from work. Especially if you are me, because I work and home and the Husband has ownership of the office. There is no door to close and shut off work, while you watch Grey’s Anatomy. People email and the computer is always there. Small business ownership is servitude and the business is the owner of your life
  • Next, all of the sudden you have to be an expert in a crapload of things that you were never good at in the first place. Billing, invoicing, figuring out how to discount your work without getting raped in the process, dealing with people who have a good 15 years on you in the art of negotiation, floundering around on the phone saying things like, “really, you would pay $10K for me to do that?” and internally thinking, “Idiot you should just say yes, $10K is acceptable here is the contract.” Interestingly, all the new things you have to be good at seem to require math. You have to pay taxes, keep track of business expenses, keep meticulous records, oh and did I mention that all those things are done on your free time? You know, after you’ve worked 8 hours, done laundry, cooked dinner and paid bills.
  • Did I mention that you can never escape the fact that you are always working no matter what? Oh I did, well it is annoying enough to mention twice.
  • Because you own your own business and were a professional in your last life (and owning your own company instead of getting a real job feels like a cop out to you) you have to pretend that business ownership and being your own boss and working from home (where you have no co-workers to talk to) doesn’t suck some of the time.

In case you were wondering, yes my mom laughs at me now and finds this all very amusing. Have you noticed I get whiny a couple of times a month? I need to get over myself, but I am stressed.

I’m in the midst of negotiating a contract and it is taking up most of my “free time” thoughts (which bothers me because I don’t like to be that person who always thinks about work, in fact, I’m not that person, I like to leave my work at work, I just can’t do that in this case).  All thanksgiving weekend I thought about what to do and I was trying to do the math in my head because we were in the car.  When I try to do math on anything but a calculator it is time to take my temperature people, because clearly something is not right in the world.

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Potential Conversation

Posted by parsingtime on November 19, 2006

U.S. Signals New Incentives for North Korea

Bush: Dude, why do we have to wear the crazy pyjamas?
Vlad: Hell if I know, but I really wanted Michelle’s hat. It would really hide my receding hairline.
Michelle: Stephen, does this hat make me look fat? And seriously, where are we the 16th century? How come I have to wear pink. 

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Protected: Harvard Yale Game

Posted by parsingtime on November 18, 2006

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Salt Lick

Posted by parsingtime on November 15, 2006

One of the companies is flying in Salt Lick for the Texas Club….and only husband gets to go. SO SAD. Good Texas BBQ goodness in this state (which is seriously lacking in BBQ and Tex-Mex) being eaten without me. That is just wrong.

Posted in Food & Drink | 1 Comment »

Vermont

Posted by parsingtime on November 12, 2006

Husband won an X-Box 360 this weekend. I fear what it will do to his productivity.  In other news we went to Vermont this weekend where I missed the Ben & Jerry’s tour and Boys against Girls Trivial Pursuit tournament so that Husband could attend the event which have him the X-Box. I am bitter, especially since when we got to Vermont the lodge where we were staying literally stopped serving six flavors of Ben & Jerry’s right as we got there. Vermont is really a pretty state, but seriously there is nothing there except ski towns and cows.  No, really.  Also, signs are in English and in French. I don’t think the south knows about this, otherwise they would be up in arms!  So in summary, I missed ice cream twice and trivial pursuit, had to read french and in exchange gained an X-Box which will just distract husband from my scintillating company (he just came into the room and asked if we could play for 30 minutes before doing his homework. I said no. Clearly, when I tell you I can’t contemplate the thought of kids just now it is because I already live with a hairy overgrown one!).  I do however have to say (on a positive note for the weekend) that Husband’s section is super nice, literally everyone is friendly and normal….not necessarily what I was expecting when I heard Husband was coming to school is Boston. I genuinely like everyone I’ve gotten to know.

This week should be busy…lots of work stuff going on and we have an event at Finale (dessert place in Boston), Thanksgiving dinner with Husband’s section and a couple of other social events I can’t remember just now.

Posted in Husband, School | 2 Comments »

First I was Afraid

Posted by parsingtime on November 8, 2006

My next door neighbor has played Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive  six times in a row. Repeat number seven is currently going.

Someone just broke up with their boyfriend and needs some affirmation music I’m thinking.

In other news, in is November and still no snow. I am supremely impressed by this as I was expecting hideous weather by this point. So one point for Boston (don’t worry Texas is still winning the state race by 29).

Also, yea for the elections. My new Governor is Deval Patrick. Woo. I honestly think his opponent lost because she ran absolutely awful negative ads (outright saying he liked rapists and weird stuff like that) and he didn’t run any.

And here goes repeat no. 8.

Posted in Random | 1 Comment »

Adventures of Person One and Person Two

Posted by parsingtime on November 5, 2006

This is an old “fictional” story, I wrote it and forgot to post it.  

1:30am an apartment in a city

Person 1: returns from an evening out.(banging and flushing heard by Person 2)
Person 2: (from bed) Did you have fun tonight?
Person 1: Uhh muhh
Person 2: Are you okay?
Person 1: shot. sequiza. Don’t feel good.
Person 2: You drank tequila? (internally thinking, you don’t like Tequila and it makes you  crazy and holy sh*t, I’ve never heard you slur your words ever)
Person 1: uh (general moaning sounds)
Person 2: You aren’t going to throw up are you? I’m going to be upset if you throw up in bed.
Person 1: uh….muh
Person 2: (gets up, gets water and a trash can with a new plastic liner). Okay here is some water and a trash can. Don’t throw up on the bed
Person 1: uh…
Person 2: (trying to sleep, and thinking, is Person 1 going to moan like that all night?) (Moaning stops around 3am. Person 2 becomes worried that Person 1 has stopped breathing. Person 2 put’s a hand near Person 1’s mouth. Doesn’t feel breath. Puts hand on Person 1’s chest, ahh breathing).
Person 2: (6am) I haven’t slept all night because I thought you were dying.
Person 1: uh, I feel terrible.

Indeed.

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Don’t mess with my sugar

Posted by parsingtime on November 2, 2006

Husband came home today and I was talking about how I was craving dessert. He gave me a look that suggested dessert surrounded him at some point very recently. Seemingly, he was “hungry” and had a cupcake in the afternoon. At this point Husband says the cupcake was really big so in order to reduce his caloric intake he shared the cupcake WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. A cupcake….sweet delicious yummy cake with icing and he shared it with someone other than his wife, a woman he knows LOVES DESSERT MORE THAN MOST THINGS IN LIFE (I mean seriously, in a battle between Husband and Kelly’s Grandma’s coconut cream pie, I might choose the pie). The other woman was a section mate and married and blah blah blah, but that doesn’t matter, he could share dessert with his sister over me and it would be the same stab in my heart.

The dessert trust in this marriage is dead to me. D E A D, I tell you.

Posted in Husband, What the...? | 3 Comments »