Parsingtime

More Annoyed than Amused

Hello Crazy and Burned Plastic

Posted by parsingtime on September 26, 2006

Edit: While writing this post, I paused to make dinner. A dinner whose recipe was on the internet. I BURNED MY COMPUTER ON THE STOVE. B U R N E D. As in plastic smoking fire, NEAR THE BATTERY. Husband tells me (when we argue, which is not often and we have had a great relationship, before I BURNED MY COMPUTER) that I’m careless.  And this clearly proves that it is true, I’m a careless person. I always do stupid things. Always. And I have a lifetime of stupidness ahead of me….Husband* is going to leave me and I will end up old, haggard, making careless mistakes, without a real job and with bad finances and Random Banker will have to take me in and people will think we are lesbian lovers and that she could do much better than haggard careless girl and I’ll to move out on the street, alone forever.**  
End Edit.

I am a complete freak. I still am not working (though I’m booked in a ridiculously expensive boutique hotel for my work trip to San Francisco next week, so I am not out of work FOREVER, just this long and interminable week. And no, I don’t know why I like to write in parentheses, perhaps because it allows me to get away with the run on sentences), and after two days of the Wisteria lane house wife life (you know, except without a surrogate, comatose boyfriend or husband who kills his wife (oh and parentheses within parentheses, I can totally do that, because I am insanse)) I am going crazy.  I’m so not made to do nothing. I even tried to sign up for some classes at the extension school and all the classes I wanted were already booked up. Foiled from busy-ness (is busyness a word, I don’t think it is business because that is a completely different word) again.  Heh, more parentheses!

The gym: eh
Making dinner: blah
Browsing Linens ‘n Things and Pier 1 for chair pads (FOR THE PLASTIC COVERED IKEA CHAIRS THAT ARE SO UGLY THEY HURT MY EYES): boring
Cleaning our apartment: so over that

Anyway, today I had two brilliant thoughts.  One, I’m going to do research at the school library to find dirt on a certain company. This of course in my pea sized brain will turn into a national expose, all law firms will want to hire me and they will buy my research and give me 1% of all money they save from the plaintiffs suing the company in my expose instead of them which will be a billions of dollars and that would make me a 1% billionaire. My second thought, is that I’m going to make a brochure to send out to various companies advertising my business.

Unfortunately, I’m more likely to do research that I’m not being paid for rather than make a brochure that could grow my work. I’m not really the creative type so making a brochure is kind of traumatic. I can’t even decide on my business card design.

Basically, I’m going crazy. I need work. I love working.  I’m not good at the housewife thing. SOMEONE SEND ME WORK.

*I should point out that Husband has stated multiple times that he doesn’t hate me and he isn’t mad. He even risked battery acid burn to help me transfer files and make it so I could use the burned computer. He is a good husband. I’m a bad wife. On. Multiple. Levels.

** Yes, I am overly dramatic. I always have been. It probably is a function of the careless stupidness.

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3 Responses to “Hello Crazy and Burned Plastic”

  1. jeff© said

    you do know that i’m happy to help with your brochure and business card needs right?

    sorry to hear what happened to your computer while you were cooking… maybe you want to check out this site, http://www.cookingforengineers.com/, recipes presented in graphical visual way… so you might not need your computer as much while you are cooking… 😛

  2. Emilia said

    That is so something I would do. No wonder we are friends.

  3. […] right before I graduated from college. My second one was a hand me down from Husbands work that I burned on the stove in Boston. My current one is also a hand me down from Husband’s work and is a […]

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