Hot yoga + sweat + carpet = disgusting.

Also, N started crying today when we turned into the parking lot so that’s going well.

It gets worse before it gets better, right?

Cried for one and a half hours before deciding to make her winter art project (black paper, glue and cotton balls = snow at night), singing about the days of the week and reading Clifford. Who knows what she missed the first 1.5 hours.

I’m hoping Tuesday goes better than today.

Today you turn 18 months old.  It is also today that I throw you out in the world to fend for yourself. Also known as, preschool. Twice a week.  There will be teachers and 7 other kids but who will help you eat your lunch and who will push you high on the swings? I don’t know. All I do know is that, while I definitely think you are going to take this separation much worse than I am, I’m still a little sad that you are going to spend 6 hours doing interesting things without me.  Also, all the crying and clinging I’m expecting today doesn’t help.  I hope that eventually you really love going to school and that you love to learn.  There are so many interesting things to know and learn how to do . Plus if you ever want to beat me at trivia games you are going to have to bring your A game.

This month you have run everywhere, but mostly you run to the park. You have had both mommy and daddy home for the last two weeks and visits from both sets of grandparents which has resulted in a lot of new toys and books and lots of visits to the park to swing.  You love nothing more than being outside.  And are constantly on the look out for birds, cats and dogs.  Sometimes you spot things before I do. You’re an observant kid and you like to mimic actions you see other people doing.  It is because of your love of copying that you have such clean teeth and ears.  Nothing pleases you more than having a tooth brush or a q tip in your hand.   You also recently received  a purse from Aunt Emilia and like to fill it with your special treasures. So when the floss goes missing or I can’t find my car keys, I will inevitably find them in your purse.

You can now say more complex things like “more please” and “daddy bye bye”  and bigger words like gentle (along with the accompanying action) and yogurt.   Also when you say no a lot of times you say, “no kay” which I find amusing. You call food “numo” and water “wadi.” You also tell me when I’m translating you wrong.  Like when I thought you said poopy yesterday you repeated yourself and said woof.  Ah, yes, puppy, woof.  Sorry for confusing the two.

Speaking of poopy. You are potty training yourself. As in you go up to the bathroom door, bang on it and say pee pee.  I then undress you, you grab a wad of tissues to rub all over your stomach and proceed to pee pee.  It is all sorts of crazy.  Now, you don’t do it every time but usually a couple of times a day you pee pee in the potty.  And thank goodness you like sitting on the big people seat because emptying a potty seems like more work than a diaper.

Now that you are 18 months old I’m starting to get lots of questions on when people should expect the next Time baby.  I struggle with this regularly.  You always answer no to the brother or sister question.  So there’s that vote.  And I, well if you are going to have a sibling I don’t want to wait too long and at the same time I’m pretty happy with you.  The thought of not sleeping again and adding to the Niger river delta map on my stomach gives me palpitations.  No good answer to this question, but I will give you a piece of advice: unless there is a baby shooting out of a woman’s vagina don’t ask her if she is pregnant.

When I ask you if you are a baby or a big girl you always respond, “beee gurl.”  And you are. The chubby, toothless, babbling baby of a few short months ago has been replaced with a big girl who can run, climb, ask for things, respond to commands, sing ABC and get into all sorts of mischievous trouble. It is crazy.

I love you bee gurl.

Mommy

Sad little sick baby.

Edit: Sad little sick baby is talking about swings in her sleep. Sort of hilarious.

Guess what.

What? N pooped in the potty?

Nooooo, but I did find the garage door opener that has been missing for the last nine months.

Oh.

You are such a dad now.

• I’m obsessed with hot yoga. Obsessed.
• N is obsessed with swings and parks. OBSESSED. To the infinity squared degree. Too bad it is 40 degrees out.
• Our holiday photo this year kind of sucks.
• I’m 90% with my holiday shopping  and 80% done with wrapping.
• The perfect gift for Husband just sort of landed in my lap, let’s see if  I can pull it off.  We don’t usually do gifts for each other since we buy what we want/need anyway.  But when things do crop up it is nice to surprise him.
• Ferberizing a 17 month old is painful.  We are never traveling with the baby again. Not until ferber no longer applies to her.
• 8 days until Husband has two weeks off.
• I somehow managed to forget to go to the dentist for the last 27 months (in my defense I went right before I got pregnant and then we moved and then a baby and yeah…).  My bank account is regretting that little mistake.
• I’m a little disturbed at the rate my mom’s group seems be getting pregnant or trying.  All our kids are the same age. It is not time to have another baby, not for me at least. The thought of being pregnant makes my reproductive organs clench in horror. HORROR. And yet I’m happy for them because it is what they want.
• Jerry Sandusky also makes me clench in horror.  Every time I blow kisses on N’s tummy (a zerbert, I recently learned it is called) I think of him and how he used to do that to little boys.  I hate that his (alleged) pedophilia has intruded on something that is so fun and funny to N.
• I could vote for Mitt but I could not vote for Newt. Newt! Who does that to their child? Not that the name Mitt is that much better (or Barack for that matter) but I have always had a special place of dislike for Newt (carefully masked when I asked him if I could take a photo with him many years ago).
• Husband has instituted a new policy in which he does not want me to put away his laundry.  He currently has 2 1/2 weeks of laundry piled up in a basket.
• I am single handedly keeping Amazon in business.

This month you have learned to curse like a sailor, or more aptly like your Dad. Happy 17 months!  Your Dad accidentally said “oh sh*t” the other day and now you break out with that little gem at the most inopportune times.   And you laugh when you say it, like you know that it is super funny for a 17 month old to say, “oh sheeeeet” when the swing goes really high.  Oy.

Did I say swing? I meant to spell s-w-i-n-g.  I also now have to spell p-a-r-k and we actually can’t even drive by our two regular parks because if we do you see them and start screaming “swiiiiing” and “park.”  In fact first thing in the morning you ask if we are going to the park.  I’ve been to the park to swing twice a day for several weeks now.  And if it rains? Well there is a lot of unhappiness in the house.

You definitely know what you want and don’t want.  When we get in the car, we start singing the first couple of lines of your favorite song. And if I don’t put it on? The singing gets louder and more adamant.  Usually I give in.  Because who can think with the tuneless “bap bap ba bap bap baaaaaaaa” going on in the back.

The park obsession and the song obsession I can take and understand but the biting and hitting? That has been an unwelcome addition to this month.  Fortunately, you only do it to me. Unfortunately, we have started to put you in time out.  Why? Why would I put a 17 month old in timeout? Because you totally get that you are being removed from a situation to sit by yourself and you don’t like it. Just like I don’t like being bitten.  You have learned to very nicely say sorry though sometimes through the tears is sounds like “shawry” but I don’t think you really understand what it means.  We’ll work on that.  I guess I’m going to have to buy some discipline books or something because biting you back to show you it hurts seems counter-productive and I clearly I don’t know what I’m doing.

You, obviously, are continuing to pick up words and this month we got to introduce you to a lot of good friends who had never met you.  You love to watch me cook, have been refusing to eat again, sat on the potty for the first time (and then pooped in your diaper 30 seconds after I put it on), can recognize most body parts and cookie from a mile away.  You  have learned the word Elmo even though you’ve never watched Sesame Street and love all quiet animals.  You are getting into stuff all the time.  Your new favorite activity is pulling off clothes from the hanger and dumping it in the hamper.  Something I only recently discovered, after wondering why I seemed to be inundated with laundry all the time. You love boss you little friends around (already) and tell them to sit down when they are standing on the couch.  You love to clean up and you actively miss your dad when he is out of town for the night.

You’re a sweet, slightly naughty, funny girl with a big laugh and a big cry. You love to give kisses and we love receiving them .

Love,

Mommy

This is just funny.

The next thing you know we’re in the bathroom brushing our teeth
That’s all part of it, that’s foreplay.
Foreplay is very important in love making
Then you go sort out the recycling
Which isn’t part of the foreplay, but it’s still very important
That’s not foreplay, but it’s still very important.